


Priorities

by Cumberbatch Critter (ivelostmyspectacles)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: (Somewhat minor) Character Death, AkuRoku - Freeform, Angst, Best Friends Forever, Cigarettes, Crying, Cuddling, Dark versus Light, Deep Conversations, Dominant Axel, Dominant Roxas, Embarrassment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, F/M, Fighting, Gen, Getting Roxas back, Got It Memorized?, Haircuts, Happy, Heartless - Freeform, Hearts, Hurt/Comfort, Ienzo and Axel have a good relationship nowadays too, Keyblade War, Lea's Keyblade Training, Loss of Virginity, Love, M/M, Memory flashbacks to 358/2 Days, Mentions of Disney worlds, Mentions of Suicide, Mentions of Xion, Past Relationships, Post - Dream Drop Distance, Riku and Axel actually have an awesome relationship, Seven Keyblade Wielders, Sex Talk, Sexual Content, Sickfic, Sickness, Slash, Smoking, Sparring, Spoilers for any game, Submissive Roxas, Suicidal Thoughts, Vessels of Darkness, Yaoi, adoration, bathing together, canon violence, injuries, nobodies - Freeform, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-01-25 23:34:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 26,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1666583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivelostmyspectacles/pseuds/Cumberbatch%20Critter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yeah, Lea can wield a Keyblade now. With any luck, it'll be the key to finding Roxas and <i>finally </i>bringing him back. He hopes.</p><p>Set immediately after the events of 3D, through the Keyblade War, and the mess that Lea gets himself into in trying to bring his favourite little blonde back home. Lots of friendship, lots of relationship, and a lot of potential spoilers for several of the KH games.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Keyblade

**Author's Note:**

> Basic warnings for overall story content:
> 
> Profanity  
> Sexual Content  
> Suicidal Thoughts  
> Crude Humour  
> Character Death(s) - Mainly one in particular. In my 'verse, this person isn't the focus of the story, thus I call it a minor character death for the fear that if people see 'Major Character Death' as a warning, they may think I'm killing Axel or Roxas when I'm not.
> 
> Basically, not Disney grade, but that _is_ what fanfiction is for.
> 
> This whole story idea was inspired by a story I read. It's called "All Good Things" (or, alternately, another called "Sixth of Seven"), both by Lumelle. They're fantastic stories and where I was introduced to the idea of bringing Roxas back and, shipping Axel and Roxas like I do, wanted to try my hand at it.
> 
> I do not own _Kingdom Hearts, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Mickey Mouse, Final Fantasy_ , or any other mentioned or referenced Disney affiliate. All of that belongs to Disney and Square Enix.  
> Thanks for reading, and leave a kudos or comment if you enjoy it. :)

When Roxas left the Organization, Axel vowed to bring him back.

When Axel realized what the Organization wanted him to do, Axel left the Organization.

When Axel realized Roxas was gone, Axel decided to go after Sora instead.

And when Axel realized that finding Sora didn't mean finding Roxas, Axel figured he may as well do what he could for Sora.

When Sora's life was in danger, Axel thought it was worth it to give it his all.

Sora _was_ Roxas, after all.

All the same, but yet... so, _so_ different.

Roxas had gone away, now it was Axel's time to as well.

* * *

 

He woke up in a confused fog.

"What happened...?" he mumbled, pushing himself to his feet. "Roxas...?"

But Roxas wasn't there, only himself, Even, Aeleus, Ienzo, Dilan... what was going on? He couldn't remember...

He caught sight of himself, doing a double take as he realized that something was wrong, something was different. The tattoos. His tattoos. His Nobody markers.

Human... They were human again.

The weight of the world crashed upon his shoulders before dropping again, replaced with a tightening in his throat that he wasn't familiar with.

Human. He was going to have to get used to this again.

* * *

 

Lea twisted the Keyblade around, admiring all the angles of it. So, he'd been trying and trying and now he finally had a Keyblade... Finally, he had a part of what Roxas had been, what Sora was fighting for. A shield of light against darkness, the darkness that he had been a part of until the light had come into his life and changed everything he ever knew.

"Would you put that thing away?"

Lea arched his eyebrows, looking around at Donald. "Got a problem?"

"Yes! I don't trust _you_ with it!"

"Gawrsh, Donald, Axel's just learnin' ta use the Keyblade so he can fight the darkness with Sora and Riku."

"And Kairi and His Majesty," Riku said, strolling up from the side of the Tower. "Don't forget that Sora and I aren't the only ones fighting this time. We need all the help we can get."

Lea unclenched his hand from the Keyblade, allowing it to dissappate beneath his fingers like the ashes of a burnt flame. "And even then it's going to be a hard fight," he said, crossing his arms. "And, right now, we only have five wielders of light, if you think I'm even able to help you out here."

"Of course you'll be able to," Riku said. "You can wield the Keyblade just as well as Kairi can, maybe better at this juncture. You both just need to practice."

Lea huffed through his nose. "Practice, practice, practice."

"Practice makes perfect!" Goofy announced.

"Never had to practice in the Organization," Lea muttered.

"That's because your chakrams were natural weapons. You had something like them when you were human, didn't you?"

Something like familiarity flickered through Lea's mind. He looked up at Riku, suspicion settling over the recognization. "... How do you know that?" he asked, narrowing his eyes slightly.

Riku shrugged. "I caught glimpses of things when I dove into Sora's heart."

"'Things'?" Lea echoed. "What kind of things? Things like memories inside of Ventus's heart?"

Riku shrugged again. "I guess."

Lea pushed himself to his feet, stepping up next to Riku. "You can see Ventus inside of Sora's heart."

"Axel, don't."

"Is Roxas there?" Lea asked bluntly.

"There are things that are better left unknown," Riku replied calmly.

"Well, Roxas is _my_ friend, so I think I have the right to know," Lea retorted.

"Sora's _my_ friend."

"If you're going to pull Ventus out, why can't you pull Roxas out?"

"We don't even know if we can take Ventus out, yet."

"Well, we're going to have to, now aren't we? If Mickey thinks that we can, you believe him. So, what are you keeping from me about Roxas?" Lea mused. "You know more than you're letting on," he accused. He wasn't wholly sure about this seven wielders of light versus the thirteen darknesses to begin with, but he was willing to go along with it for the sake of a remembered promise. But... keeping secrets, about Roxas, from him... He couldn't - wouldn't - swallow that.

"Riku!"

Lea glanced up reflexively as Mickey hurried down the stairs of the Tower.

"I need to talk to you and Kairi. You were training with her, weren't you?" Mickey said, stopping on the doorstep.

"Yes, Your- Mickey," Riku said. "She went up to study. I'll go get her."

"I'll walk with you," Mickey said.

Riku brushed past Lea, briefly clamping his hand onto his shoulder. "Due time, Axel."

"I've done my time," Lea muttered, crossing his arms as the pair walked away.

"Well, gawrsh, Axel. You don't have to look so glum. King Mickey'll figure it out."

"Lea," Lea interrupted. "My name is Lea." He let his arms fall and he descended the last stairs of the Tower's doorstep.

"Where are you going?!"

Lea waved his hand over his shoulder. "Oh, here and there." He waved his hand back in front of him, calling up the corridor of darkness that he shouldn't still be able to control. Those things came with more focus now, not easily like they had in the Organization, but they came nonetheless. Maybe it meant he still had darkness left in his heart.

"Surprise attack!!"

Lea barely had time to turn and duck before the familiar _whoosh_ and jangle of the Kingdom Key flew past his fiery locks. His own Keyblade jumped to his hand reflexively and he twisted around, lashing out with a downwards strike towards the metal careening at him.

"You're getting good at summoning that, Axel!" Sora grinned, pushing his Keyblade against Lea's.

"How many times do I have to tell you-" Lea started, pushing back at Sora.

"Until you can beat me in a fight!" Sora beamed and jumped backwards, swinging his Keyblade in front of him. "Come on!"

"How many times do I have to beat you?" Lea retorted, corridor fizzling out beside him as his attention focused on the impending attack.

"You haven't beat me once yet!"

Lea didn't know whether to laugh or grind his teeth. This kid could really get on his nerves sometimes. He was _so_ much like Roxas, but so _not_ him, either. They were both scatter-brained and practically transparent, sometimes, but Sora was so _cheerful_ all the time while Roxas had been... well, a Nobody. How did Lea expect Roxas to act, back then?

"Guard's down!"

Sora came rushing at him and Lea threw his Keyblade up at the last moment to guard, although the force of their blades hitting each other nearly sent his legs buckling.

It wasn't like he was a bad fighter. He'd been made the 'assassin' in Organization XIII for a reason, after all. But...

_Lea felt the Keyblade leave his hand a half second before he collapsed to his knees, reaching out to catch himself before he could become far too intimate with the ground._

_"Go Mickey!"_

_Lea whipped his head up, feeling the familiar heat pulsing through his palms a second before his chakrams materilized. He sent them blazing at the King before rational thought could take over that this was only training._

_Mickey swatted them away with his Keyblade like two irksome flies. "Your form's all wrong, Lea."_

_"Yeah, you leave yourself completely open for attack in your left," Riku added, holding out his hand to Lea. "And you stand too far away to be able to hit your target."_

_Lea huffed, letting Riku help him up. He brushed the dust off his coat. "Yeah, well, I'm not used to close-quarter combat, now am I?"_

_"That's where you're going to have to learn to feel the difference between the chakrams and the Keyblade. You could rely on your chakrams for long-distance targets, but that is no longer a possibility," Mickey said. "On average enemies, feel free to do whatever feels most natural to you. But when we fight the darkness, you're going to have to use your Keyblade."_

_"Yeah, I know." Lea straightened up, summoning his Keyblade again. "Let's do it again. I won't make the same mistake twice."_

Lea threw his weight back and swung his Keyblade out to the left, blocking the incoming attack. He spun his weight back onto the balls of his feet and whirled around in a flash of black and red, lashing out to deliver a solid blow against Sora's exposed back.

There was something akin to satisfaction pulsing through his veins as Sora _thumped_ face-first into the grass at his feet.

"Whaaat!?"

Lea glanced over at Donald. "Thanks for the support!" (It felt like all he did was try to convince the guy that he _could_ actually wield a Keyblade, even if he wasn't Sora-level with it yet. Geez.) He looked back at Sora, who was picking himself up off the ground. "How was that?"

"Good!" Sora beamed, a smudge of dirt beneath his left eye. "You're really improving. You and Kairi should train together soon."

"If the King allows it." Lea rubbed the back of his neck, trying to work a kink out of it. He'd acquired various aches and pains since he had started training with these kids. He hated to admit that they wore him out somedays.

"I'll vouch for you," Sora said cheerfully.

Lea sighed heavily, shaking his head. "Great, kid. Are we done for today? I was going back to Radiant Garden."

"What's there that keeps you so busy, anyway?" Sora asked.

Lea shrugged. "Nothing, really." Not that he was really going back to Radiant Garden; he had had no reason to stay there after re-awakening, but it seemed slightly pathetic to explain to Sora what he was really doing: looking for Braig and, more importantly, Isa.

When Lea had gone to Yen Sid, he had explained what he knew. Everything. Even the part about Isa and Braig joining in Radiant Garden, but not returning there when they were re-completed. Yen Sid hadn't had much to say on the subject, but the implication behind his tone was clear: Isa and Braig probably had given in to Xehanort completely throughout their time in Organization XIII. That implied that Isa and Braig were part of the thirteen darknesses and that was something that Lea, on top of everything else that had happened, did not want to consider.

Isa, no, _Saïx_ , might have caused the most trouble for them all besides Xemnas or Xehanort themselves, but that wasn't Isa. That was somebody jerked along on puppet wires. Lea wanted to get Isa back in somewhat of a lessened degree that he wanted to get Roxas back, but he wanted them both back all the same.

Because Isa and Roxas were his friends. His best friends, both of them, from different lives and different realities, but it didn't change anything.

And, after everything that had happened with Roxas, Lea was sick and tired of having to fight his friends.

"You keep going back," Sora remarked.

Lea twisted a piece of his hair between his fingers. "Well, you know how it is it. I was reborn there and all. Have to have some sort of connection with it."

"Are the others staying there?"

Lea raised his eyebrows.

"The other people that were in the Organization."

"Dilan - uh, well, you know them as Xaldin, Vexen, and Zexion are staying there. Well, Xaldin's getting ready to do something with some guys named Cloud and Leon, actually..." He rubbed the back of his head. "I don't really know what they're doing. But, yeah, the others stay there because they don't have anywhere else to go, now."

"And still no sign of Saïx or Xigbar?"

Sometimes, that kid was just too perceptive, Lea thought. "No. I'm sure they'll turn up."

"Maybe they went to Traverse Town and then went somewhere else on their own?" Sora guessed, folding his hands behind his head. "Maybe they're looking for you!"

Lea snorted. "And the _last_ place they'll expect to find me is with the Keyblade wielder who tried or managed to knock them all off," he said wisely. "Gotta get going. See you tomorrow."

Sora nodded. "See ya, Axel," he said cheerfully.

Lea rolled his eyes as he summoned another corridor and strode into it. That kid was never going to stop calling him Axel. It was just like with Roxas; when Lea resurrected him, he was pretty sure that he wouldn't learn to call him by his real name, either.

Good thing he didn't want him to in the first place.


	2. Way to the Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too bad that blonde hair and those blue eyes don't belong to Roxas.

Lea sighed heavily, fishing around in his pocket for his lighter. Theoretically, he didn't even need one, being a fire wielder and all that, but it was a lot easier to light a cigarette with a lighter than with his chakram or Keyblade.

He lit up and took a long draw, closing his eyes. First the Keyblade training, which never let up day to day (and he knew he needed it, but it didn't help his attitude about it sometimes) and then a horrific trip to Tortuga that had ended up with him falling off the bay into the water. Oh, he could swim. He just didn't like to (unless, of course, he wanted to. He hadn't wanted to _today_.).

"Those things will kill you."

Lea opened his eyes, staring towards the shock of silver hair appearing through the darkness. "Riku," he greeted listlessly. "I know. Bad habit." He blew out a mouthful of smoke and leaned back against the wall. "What are you doing up? It's half past one."

"I could ask you the same thing," Riku said, leaning against the wall next to him. He reached over and took the cigarettes from Lea's hand, slipping one out for himself.

"It's not my bed-time yet," Lea responded, looking at him. "You don't smoke," he added, hypocritically nevertheless.

"Not usually," Riku agreed, resting the cigarette between his lips and taking Lea's lighter. He was quiet for a moment before lifting it away, mimicking Lea's action of letting out a deep breath of smoke moments later.

Lea raised his eyebrows slightly - clearly, this wasn't Riku's first rodeo if he wasn't choking - but instead of questioning that, moved on to more pertinent, non-invasive questions. "So, why are you out here again?"

"I'm going to dive into Sora's heart tomorrow."

Lea paused with the cigarette halfway to his lips.

"I'm going in to try and free Ventus," Riku continued. "We're going to need him and Aqua for wielders of light. King Mickey thinks it's time that we begun."

Lea rest his head back against the Tower wall, staring up at the sky. "... Is there really a chance you can extract him or is all this pointless conjecture?"

Riku shrugged at his side. "Who knows, at this point?"

"I think," Lea said, tapping the ash off gently, "that you are all crazy. It's seven against thirteen."

Riku's head turned towards him. "You're just as crazy. You joined us."

"I made a promise." He sucked in the nicotine, imagining he could feel the smoke winding aimless paths in his mouth, down his throat, through his nostrils. He breathed out. "I intend to keep it."

"What was that, again? To bring your friends back?"

Lea inclined his head, slightly.

"But Sora's not your friend."

"No," Lea said, even though it probably wasn't true. He would probably do anything for the brunette, if he was being honest with himself.

"But Roxas is," Riku said, speaking the unspoken between them.

"Yes," Lea said. They all knew it. Knew why he was here, knew why he wanted to help, knew about what lit his fire, so to speak. There was no point to dance around it.

"Do you actually think we can get him out?" Riku asked plainly.

Lea looked at Riku again. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?"

Riku shrugged. "We all know if I refuse to do it, you're going to figure out some way to dive into his heart and see for yourself."

"I might do that even if you agree," Lea said, returning to his cigarette.

"Look... I know you think we can get him back," Riku said. "And I know what that's like."

Lea opened his mouth to argue, but Riku stopped him.

"I went through it with Sora, remember? I was the one trying to get Roxas to come back so Sora would wake up." He paused. "I am sorry about that, you know. If I could have done it differently, I would have, but Roxas was never..."

" _Don't_ say it," Lea interrupted. He surprised himself with the tone of his voice. Surprised himself with how his blood burned too hot at the mere thought of the suggestion that Roxas wasn't meant to exist. It was stupid; he knew it was true. Nobodies were never meant to exist, but...

Riku sighed. "I'm sorry."

Lea looked away, staring towards the field behind the Tower where they did some of their practicing lately.

"Ventus... He existed as himself. His heart just took refuge in Sora. I can pull that out. Hopefully. But Roxas... He doesn't have a body... He doesn't have a heart."

"Because Sora took it," Lea finished.

"... Yeah."

"He was his own person," Lea said shortly, pinching the end of his cigarette. It burned his fingers, but he barely felt it. "Roxas was his own person. He... gave me a reason to go on," he admitted. Why was he telling this to Riku, of all people? _Because he understands_ , his mind provided, and Lea hated it, but he really _did_ understand. "Kind of like... the way Sora makes you feel," he muttered.

"Best friends," Riku said quietly.

"Yeah." Lea flicked the butt of his cigarette, knowing he'd have to pick it up later before Mickey or Donald, or worse, Kairi, found it. That was something else: Kairi. He'd made such a mistake with her a few years ago, back when he'd been in that strange place between the Organization and against the Organization... but she could be so overbearingly _protective_ now. He could hear her now:

_"Lea, what is that?"_

_"Lea, are you smoking?!"_

_"Lea, don't make me search you for cigarettes!"_

... Women were scary.

"You sound just like Sora, you know."

Lea looked back at Riku, eyes probing the question.

"He... always says that Roxas deserved to exist. That he must have had a heart of his own... Because he laughed, and cried, and got angry. That he deserved to be his own person because they weren't the same." Riku laughed. "He says all that and yet... if Roxas had survived, Sora wouldn't even be here at all."

"Well... that's just the way he is, isn't he?" Lea asked.

Riku nodded. "Yep, that's Sora through and through." He took one last puff before stubbing his cigarette out. "Axel - no, Lea. If I can, I promise that I'll bring Roxas back for you. I'll do everything in my power. I'll look, tomorrow, when I dive for Ventus."

Lea bit his lip. It was pointless to get worked up about it, get nervous. It probably wouldn't work, but the now-filled gaping hole in his chest ached at the thought that he may never get to see Roxas again.

It reminded him of the days immediately after when Roxas had left the Organization and Lea had blatantly told Saïx to fuck off when he told him to get to work on his missions. He hadn't wanted to do a thing after Roxas left. He had been sad, he'd known that at the time, but he'd been depressed. Heartbroken. Angry. Pained. Hopeless. He'd been _hopeless_. He realized now just why that was, what that meant, of course... and why he had to get Roxas back.

He had so much to say that he hadn't had the heart to say before. He just... couldn't say it now, because Roxas was gone.

"... Thank you," he mumbled, pushing away from the wall.

He didn't know what he was going to do if they couldn't find Roxas. Keep on keeping on, he guessed, traipsing back up the stairs in the Mysterious Tower. He wasn't sure what he had to live for if the pain in his heart didn't clear up, but... for now, he had the distraction of the impending Keyblade War and the mystery of Isa and Braig to distract him.

* * *

 

Seeing Ventus again after all those years was like a punch to the gut. Actually, shortly after the kid had woken up, Lea slipped out from the Tower and gone to be sick, retching until there was nothing left in his stomach except unescapable cold and terror.

And then it struck him how much he just wanted to _cry_ and that drove him crazy. Living for years without emotion made you all messed up when it came back. And he didn't _want_ to cry because no one ever really _wanted_ to cry, but... his throat was tight and his chest ached and his eyes stung. He pushed through the feeling stubbornly.

The good news was that the dive had been successful. Ventus's cold, lifeless body has suddenly started to gain its own movement, as he breathed, questioned, laughed, and cried. And he sounded just like Roxas and he looked just like Roxas and the punch to the gut was back again and Lea was scrambling to get out of here, get away from these people.

Breathe, _breathe_. He had to keep telling himself that. He was fine. He was in control. He was _not_ going to let it get to him because if he did, he would never come back from it. He had more important things to do.

Yet, it didn't stop him from stepping out of his corridor onto the clocktower in Twilight Town and taking his customary seat on the ledge. It was a lot more lonely nowadays, but it was the closest he could be to Roxas without being close to Sora.

The bad news was that Riku had fallen asleep after the dive, as he had before during the whole Mark of Mastery debacle, so Lea had no real information about whether or not Roxas was even _in there_ anymore or if he was gone forever. (But no, he couldn't be, because he made up Sora, so he was still there, somewhere, and could they take him out without disturbing Sora's mind and body?)

_I don't care what he said to you. I'll be there._

Lea shook the voice away. Roxas's voice, saying something Lea vaguely remembered but with no recollection of what Roxas had been talking about when he'd said it before or even who he was saying it to. He just... remembered it, Roxas saying that, and it was like Roxas's voice was in his head now, telling him to just keep hanging on.

His phone vibrated in pocket, jerking him out of his reverie. With a sigh, he pulled it free and squinted at the small screen. Phones had changed since he'd last bothered to have one - didn't really need one when you had darkness at your fingertips for a direct portal to whomever you needed to talk to - and the whole thing made his head hurt.

_Riku's waking up._  
 _\- Kairi_

Lea hurried to his feet, swiveling around to summon up the darkness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow, I ended up with Lea and Riku having an awesome relationship and I don't know how or why but it's really endearing. And a quote from a conversation with Xion that Lea and Roxas don't remember having? Yeah, I went there.
> 
> I do not own _Kingdom Hearts, Pirates of the Caribbean,_ or any other mentioned/referenced characters or worlds. They belong to Disney and Square Enix!
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	3. Bad News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say no news is good news, but Lea never really believed it until now.

"Sorry about that," Lea said, stepping out of the corridor of darkness. "Ienzo wanted to meet with me about..." he trailed off, taking in the look on everyone's face. "... What's happened?" His heart jumped to his throat before settling somewhere deep into his stomach. "Did you find Roxas?"

The words slipped out before he could stop them and, hell, if that didn't sound pathetic.

Riku cleared his throat, slowly getting to his feet. He looked like crap, honestly. Pale, shaky, exhausted-looking.

Lea knew he should care but he couldn't be bothered right now. "Roxas?" he repeated.

"Come on."

Lea tilted his head. "Come on, where? Where are we going?"

Riku didn't respond, which annoyed Lea to all get out, but simply give him a shove down the hall of Yen Sid's Tower.

"Where are we _going_?" Lea repeated, the irritation taking voice and cracking out through his tone. "And why the hell does everyone look so _depressed_ after we brought Ventus back?"

Riku led him into Yen Sid's office, which was currently empty. "I thought, maybe, you'd want to talk about it without everyone else listening." He gestured to the chair, although Lea didn't want to sit, and Riku eventually took the chair as his own.

"So, you did find Roxas. You wouldn't have dragged me away if you hadn't." Lea narrowed his eyes. "But if you didn't tell them something about Roxas, something else happened because they were a lot more cheerful when I left."

Riku waved his hand absently. "Forget about that, we were just speculating. Ventus is very tired and Sora hasn't woken up yet. There's always possibilities of things happening when someone goes into someone else's heart... especially when we're taking something out of it." He sighed. "But, you're right, I did find Roxas."

Lea straightened up slightly.

Funny. Emotions were such a funny thing. When you didn't have them, you wondered if you felt them or remembered them from when you _did_ have them, but when you _did_ have them, it was a whole different ballgame. It was like everything he'd 'felt' during the Organization was heighted. It made his head pounding in his chest actually _painful_ and it made the worry actually enough to make him dizzy and sick.

He tried to stay so removed, even back in the Organization. He did was Saïx asked, he murdered people with the snap of his fingers. He did the dirty work. But now... He was going soft. He had to be going soft. That's what made his palms sweat and his pulse throb in his ears.

"He talked to me a bit," Riku said, resting his arms on the back of the chair.

"What did he say?"

"Talked about you, actually." Riku leaned forward, resting his forehead on his arms.

"Oh. Yeah... He did?" Lea shifted his weight from foot to foot. He was nervous, restless; he wanted to get this over with. Rip it off like a band-aid. "What did he say?" he repeated.

Riku glanced up. "He said hi. Wanted to know how you were doing. The thing is... Lea, like I told you, Ventus had a body... and a heart. Roxas doesn't. I can't... I don't know if I can take him out if I don't have something to transfer him _in_ to."

Lea leaned back against the wall. "So... what if... well... Maybe if we probe the darkness in Sora's heart just enough so that Roxas can reform-"

"Do you _hear_ yourself?" Riku interrupted.

Lea stopped.

"You're asking me to make Sora give into the darkness _again_ to get you your friend that wasn't supposed to exist back? That's not going to happen, Lea."

"If Roxas formed from nothing before... I mean... I was _dead_ and I still came back into this body. There _has_ to be a way. Roxas and Sora existed at the same time before-" When did he become so weak and pathetic that he had to grasp at straws like this? he wondered, but he couldn't stop himself, not now.

"And one couldn't wake up without the other," Riku interrupted. "So even if we managed to put Sora to sleep and drag Roxas out of there, who's to say that Sora _or_ Roxas will wake up after we do it?"

"We can't just leave him in there."

"He's not hurting anything inside of Sora, giving more to him if anything."

"Do you hear _yourself_?" Lea retorted. "Roxas is my _friend_. He is a _person_ like you and I. He does not _deserve_ to be _stuck in there_!"

"He is a Nobody," Riku said. "That's the harsh reality of it. I sympathize, Lea, I really do, with you and all of the Organization members wanting to have hearts and be their own people... but I don't know if I can do anything."

Lea's words dried up in his mouth. He wasn't even sure what he had been about to say, but words failed him. Yes... he knew that that was basically what Riku had been trying to tell him all along, that he might not ever get to see Roxas again, but hearing the words flat made him feel... strange.

A thousand different thoughts filtered through his mind, although he eventually just settled on: "Take me with you".

Riku raised his eyebrows. "Take you with me. Where? Into Sora's heart? Because that's going to do _nothing_ good, Lea. Getting to see Roxas in the confines of someone else's heart is _not_ going to give you closure."

Lea made a face. "So, what, you're giving up? You can go in again, you... can try, something... right?" He refused to entertain the thought that, by going into Sora's heart, at least he could say 'goodbye' truly, and not in just some subconscious state, and tell him everything that he couldn't tell him when he was heartless.

Riku sighed. "I can try. I _am_ going to try. But I'm not making any promises." He stood up, stumbling when he stood and staggering to grab onto the chair for support. "I want to help, Lea. We all do, but..."

Lea copied Riku's sigh, crossing the room to offer the Keyblade Master a hand. "... I know that. Unfortunately, it doesn't help."

Riku didn't smile. "It never does, does it?"

"Uh uh."

* * *

 

Lea leaned back against the palm tree, yawning widely as the breeze rustled his hair. Riku and Sora were sparring a ways away, and Kairi was watching them. He was envious of them sometimes, all three of them. All three of them had the weight of war on their shoulders, and Sora and Riku in particular were versed with the darkness, and yet they all managed to smile, Lea thought, as Sora abandoned his Keyblade and tackled Riku around the middle, laughing.

He didn't really fit in within their group. Not that that bothered him. He'd never really fit in in the Organization, either, and he'd only joined in the first place because of becoming an unwilling test subject; that's all he had been, really. There was no love lost there, no love lost now.

Except there was Roxas... but that was something different. Something Lea tried not to think about when they were too busy to do dives - or rather, when _Riku_ was too busy or too worried or too _whatever_ to do a dive.

Yes, Lea knew that they couldn't go diving in and out of Sora's heart like it was an unexplored ocean, but... Well, they weren't making much progress because of the impending war. Lea knew he had to be patient. He had a part here to play as well, but his heart remained solely on one task alone.

"Stobbit!" Sora exclaimed.

Riku had his hand against Sora's face and was holding him away at arms-length, smiling to himself as Sora fought to get closer.

Sometimes Lea thought that kid would never grow up.

His attention was drawn east when swirling darkness built up over the sand.

King Mickey came running out of the portal moments later. "Sora! Riku!"

Sora stopped tussling and Riku straightened up. Lea had noticed that, while their behavior didn't usually change around Mickey, their behavior changed now because the war was so close.

Everyone knew that the war was close, too. All of their wielders - Sora, Riku, Kairi, Mickey, himself, Ventus, and Aqua - knew it, all of their extra 'regiment', as Axel called them, knew it, and even people not directly involved knew it.

Sora and Riku shared the same determination that Lea had seen previously within the pair. Riku was hesitant, Sora almost overly-optimistic: the usual.

Kairi, while new to the scene, didn't appear to have one shred of doubt in that tiny, yet frighteningly powerful, body.

Mickey was the King, he had to keep the morale up, although Lea had caught him wearing down the floor in the Castle some nights when he stayed.

Ventus and Aqua usually kept to themselves, but there was a fire burning in both of their eyes that Lea didn't understand, but figured it probably had to do with their pasts as well.

Lea was embracing it. This war gave him something to do, something to distract himself. He had something to fight for, however unobtainable it might seem to be, and he was fired up to fight for it. It had been too long since he was really allowed to get out. Or, maybe _able_ was the better word. Able to get out, on his own, for his _own_ purpose.

He was fighting for Roxas here. At least it made him feel like he was doing _something_.

All four of Lea's companions across the beach shot him a glance. Lea perked up; they had to be talking about something that involved him. His mind jumped to Roxas, but he didn't think that Mickey would have any information about that right now. He was too busy with the lights and darkness.

Might as well see what bad news had been delivered this time.

"What's with that look?" he greeted, slipping his hands in his pockets.

The four shared another look, this time amongst themselves.

"Well, come on. Don't keep me in suspense."

Mickey sighed. "Lea, we've been able to determine further members of Xehanort's thirteen vessels of darkness."

"Yeah, so?"

Mickey looked up at him, ears drooping. "One of the thirteen is the man you knew in your past life; Saïx makes up one of the thirteen vessels."

Comprehension flickered across Lea's mind before settling into a dull numbness. "... Isa is one of Xehanort's thirteen vessels of darkness..."

Of course this idea had been suggested before, but Lea hadn't thought too much about it because just because they'd been in the Round Room hadn't meant that they were one of the vessels, but... now it meant they _were_.

"I'm sorry, Axel," Sora said.

Lea blinked rapidly as he came back to himself, drawing himself up. "Look into Brai- Xigbar. Chances are, he's probably one, too."

He turned and walked away, the sand feeling thicker and heavier as his shoes sank into it with every step. He left Destiny Islands behind him as he stepped into the darkness, artificial glow replacing the sun's light as he moved from outdoors to in.

"Isa..." he muttered, looking up at the ceiling of Radiant Garden's castle. "... How did this happen?"

Lea sighed heavily and slumped back against the door, letting his eyes flutter shut.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All rights to _Kingdom Hearts_ belong to Disney and Square Enix.
> 
> Think about a kudo or a comment if you like this! :) Thanks!


	4. Attack and Growth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel hadn't wanted to babysit Roxas before, and, somehow, he's ended up babysitting Sora in Halloween Town now. (Nevermind that _he's_ the one who's off his game this time.)

"Lea!"

"Got it!" Lea jumped forward, chakrams flying from his fingers with a twist of the wrist. The Creepworm disappeared into nothing; the Crawler Ghost was engulfed in flames. He was back-to-back with his fighting companion now, at least giving the Heartless no chance to attack. "Watch your back!"

"Why should I when you're watching it?!"

Lea summoned his Keyblade, slicing through a Possessor and then lunging forward to take care of a group of Icy Cubes that were forming. "Because one of these days, you'll slip up, Roxas!" The end of his Keyblade alight with flickering flame, the Icy Cubes stood very little chance.

"Roxas?"

Lea winced. "Sorry! Sora!"

"Look out!"

Something solid hit from the front, knocking the wind out of him. Lea went flying backwards, a tumble of fiery red hair in his face and the bottoms of his coat flying in misshapen directions. His Keyblade appeared in one hand and his chakram in the other, the fire lighting the blood oozing from scrapes on his hand.

Momentary panic swelled before he pushed it away; he wasn't _supposed_ to bleed. Or, rather, he'd gotten so used to not bleeding much when he was injured that when he _did_ get injured now, it was a bit of a shock to see red. But, he reminded himself, using his chakram to help push himself to his feet, it just meant that he was alive.

"It looks like _you're_ slipping up, Axel!" Sora retorted, before he was gone, running down the lighted pathway towards Town Square.

"Don't trip over the pumpkins!" Lea called after him, hanging tightly onto his weapons as he followed.

Town Square was empty.

Lea fell into step next to Sora, Keyblade vanishing first and then his chakram following as his adrenaline relaxed. "Maybe that was all of them?" he asked, fingers slipping back for the hood on his coat. Mickey said that, since they were undercover, they had to be incognito. And, apparently, buried beneath his black coat with his face hidden by the shadows his hood created, he fit right in to Halloween Town. Sora was apparently prepped for any world; he seemed to have a costume no matter where they went.

"Maybe." Sora let his Keyblade vanish. "Wouldn't it be great if there were no more Heartless at all?" he mused, locking his fingers behind his neck. "The King said it's a possibility, after the Keyblade War is over and after Xehanort's gone..."

Lea raised his eyebrows. They sure didn't tell him a lot, these people. Not that he sat in on all the meetings they had or anything, between training and Isa, Roxas and the rest of the Organization-turned-humans that he stayed in touch with.

"Won't you be out of a job, then?" he asked dryly.

Sora grinned. "Oh, I'm sure I could find something else to do!"

"Sora!"

Lea whirled around, his weapons reappearing as quickly as he had let them go. He wouldn't admit it later, to anyone, but he balked when the person... no, _thing_ that strode over to them appeared to be a... a skeleton.

A skeleton wearing a pinstripe suit with a... bat? bow-tie, and a huge grin spread across his bone-white face.

"Jack!" Sora greeted. "It's been a long time!"

Lea stared up at the skeleton, who was taller than him. Not fair... and definitely not natural.

"It has! You _must_ come to my house; I've created all sorts of things since I last saw you! Oh," Jack stopped, looking at Lea with his (... pleased?) smile. "And who is this?"

Lea opened his mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come.

"Lea," Sora announced. "That's my friend. He's kind of a zombie!" He looked back at Jack. "Did you say you had new things for the town? I remember the black-cloaked tendril-fingers with the blonde hair... but that's about the last time I was here, wasn't it...?"

Lea looked from Jack to Sora. Black-cloaked... Blonde hair. Come to think of it, they'd been sent on missions here before, back in the Organization, so had Roxas known... this Jack, too? They weren't supposed to fraternize with people, back then... but maybe they had seen Roxas around town.

"Hey, you can head back, Lea," Sora said, looking over his shoulder. "Jack's gonna show me his new scare tactics. Tell the King that we've surveyed, yeah?"

Lea glanced over at Sora. "What? Oh, yeah. Sure." He glanced back at Jack again before turning away. "See you back at the Castle."

There were reminders of Roxas everywhere, Lea thought, trudging down the cobblestone walkway. Unfortunately, reminders weren't nearly as good as the real thing-

He didn't see what hit him, but the next thing he knew, he was flat against the ground, pain shooting through his left side. He made a grab for his Keyblade, but it didn't come.

Stupid, fucking _thing_.

He summoned up his chakrams instead to take out the Heartless, which he could see now - jet-black, long, tall, skinny, with three jaw-like pincers - but fire could be too slow, even now.

The last thing he saw was the three pincers and the gaping mouth coming towards him. His last rational thought was that if they couldn't get Roxas back, there was no place for him on this earth, either.

* * *

 

Lea shuffled, snapping fast from his unconsciousness when pain shot through his body. "Owww..." he moaned, curling his toes and gripping at whatever was near, the blankets.

He pried his eyes open and tried to ignore the shivers trembling his body, staring towards the ceiling. Something... had happened. He had... been attacked, yeah. Vague memories flickered back to him as he stared up at the ceiling. He was in his 'room' at Disney Castle, but he didn't know how he'd gotten here.

He pushed himself up slightly, stifling his moan behind close-pressed lips. He held out his hands and summoned his chakrams, painstakingly casting Curaga before thumping back against his pillows. His chakrams fizzled to nothingness as the green circle of health spun around him. It was easier to cast with his chakrams... He was more used to it. Sometimes he wondered about fusing his chakrams and Keyblade, but he didn't know how... but Sora _did_ have a Keyblade that had been, apparently, made in honor of _him_ after his suicide in the corridor between worlds, a Keyblade with a chakram-like base on it, which just tickled Lea pink, but...

He sighed and let his eyes close. He'd been attacked, Sora probably found him, and brought him back here. Great that no one was sitting with him. Not that he really wanted them to, but... good to know everyone cared, he thought sarcastically.

Lea experimentally curled his fingers into a fist, feeling for pain, feeling his strength return. Best figure out what had happened, or better yet, what had happened in the in between time. He didn't know how long he'd been asleep, if he had been asleep long at all.

He stumbled to his feet and stretched, working the pain out of the movement. Clearly, someone had used a Cure spell on him earlier. If he had been out cold, there had to have been some damage, but his Curaga had more or less cleared up the remains.

He grabbed his coat off the back of the chair and pulled out his phone for the time. Quarter to three. In the morning. No wonder no one was sitting up with him. They all went to bed ridiculously early for teenagers and he was pretty sure that Mickey was asleep by nine if he wasn't busy with something else.

What a boring life.

Not that his was any better right now, to be honest.

He was going to have a shower and then he was going back to bed. It was about that simple. With a huge yawn, he grabbed for his pajamas laying crumpled in the chair.

_"I still haven't figured it out, you know."_

_Axel glanced up. "Figured what out?"_

_"Why our pajamas have to have this symbol on it," Roxas muttered, picking at the embroidered bit of his black pajama shirt._

_"Well, it's the Organization's symbol, isn't it?" Axel mused out loud, although it wasn't really; it was the Nobody's symbol, but that just seemed rude to admit if Roxas didn't know._

_"Yeah, so if we wander out in our pajamas, someone's going to find us and return us to the Castle?" Roxas asked bluntly._

_Axel grinned. "Roxas, you question some of the stupidest things." He gathered up his pajamas in his arms and reached out to give Roxas a shove into the hallway. "Go on, stop talking my ear off and get a bath!"_

_"Hey, you told me to wait on you!"_

_"What, did you want to take a bath together?" Axel deadpanned as his door swept shut behind them._

_Roxas scowled and lifted his chin. "No! I thought we were walking together!" He strode ahead quickly, very nearly tripping over his long coat whipping around about his feet._

Lea's pajamas slipped through his fingers. He'd forgotten all about their silly Organization uniform sleepwear. Roxas had been the first one to ever mention anything about it, actually, he thought... and more importantly, Roxas had blushed when he had asked if he had planned on taking a bath together, and the thought made Lea smile. He hadn't realized the weight of that - and, of course, Roxas hadn't, either - but he did now.

He abandoned the idea of a shower just yet, waiting until he was out of the Castle to summon a corridor. When he stepped out of the darkness moments later, the soft sand of Destiny Islands shifting under his feet. One day, they'd get to the beach _together_.

A shrill shriek to his left made him jump, flinch, and swivel around, in that order.

"Axel!"

Realizing that there was no danger, Lea's body relaxed slightly as he took in the scene before him.

Sora, and Kairi, both definitely awake and sprawled out on the virgin sand of the beach, naked save for Kairi's underthings, doing very _non-_ virgin things.

Lea's mouth fell open before he could catch it, but then the grin took over without restraint. "Well, well."

"What are you doing here?!" Sora demanded, pulling Kairi closer to his body.

Lea tilted his head towards the ocean for some semblance of privacy, head falling a few degrees to the side. "I nearly get killed and you two are out here makin' like rabbits."

"What?" Kairi asked. "Sora, you didn't tell me Lea got hurt!"

Lea's grin widened.

"Axel!" Sora protested.

"Are you even of age?" Lea mused.

"Yes!" Sora retorted forcefully. "We're both almost nineteen. Beat it!"

Lea couldn't help the laugh that burst forth. He knew it was all bad timing and terribly rude, but... it stuck him as hilarious, all of this. Maybe because he was imagining that Roxas was probably _freaking out_ inside of Sora, all pressed up against a woman he didn't know and doing things he probably didn't _want_ to partake in. Lea could picture his little blonde blushing his head off right about now, trying to find something else in Sora's heart to occupy himself besides love and sex.

"Sorry, sorry," Lea said, waving his hand over his shoulder. "Didn't mean to interrupt, _really_. Nighty-night." Without giving in to the urge to flash his trademark grin back at the flustered duo, he strode into the darkness, chuckling the whole way back to Disney Castle.

He didn't know why it was so funny, but... _wow_ , wasn't Sora growing up? Hopefully Roxas was, too. Hopefully Roxas was taking pointers because, while the mechanics were different, that would be him and Lea one day.

... Hopefully.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm an AkuRoku shipper that doesn't ship SoRiku. There. I said it. I just think SoKai is so cute. But, if you don't like that, don't fear, because this story's focus is still AkuRoku.
> 
> Yep. Anyway. Because the Leechgrave minions were annoying as hell. Poor Axel - in more ways than one.
> 
> I do not own _Kingdom Hearts_ or _The Nightmare Before Christmas_. All rights belong to Disney and Square Enix.  
>  Thanks for continued reading!


	5. Love & War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's love, but then there's war.

As it turned out, impending war and the threat of death seemed to be a pretty good reason to spend time with your lover. The whole place seemed to turn into one big fuck fest somewhere in between Lea finding out about Isa and then eventually catching Sora and Kairi at it. Lea was pretty sure that even Minnie and Mickey were being more affectionate to each other whilst they were in public - who knew what they did in their spare time, but they had to procreate somehow.

So, he fled to the sanctity of Radiant Garden and hung around there while Sora did whatever with Kairi, and Ventus and Aqua did whatever they did together (Lea was pretty sure it wasn't sex. He didn't get the vibe that they were screwing each other), and Mickey and Minnie and the only one left without something(one) to do was Riku.

"So, you're the odd man out," Lea said, folding his arms beneath his head, stretching his legs out along the length of the table that he was laying atop. This place was in serious need of a dusting, and some fixing-up, but he wasn't going to do it. Wasn't really his forte.

"Hmm?" Riku was paging through some of the discarded books scattered about the room.

Lea turned his head. "You don't have someone to go join the great big orgy party with?"

Riku raised his head to raise his eyebrows at him, shooting him _that_ look over the top of his book.

Lea rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't give me that look. You know what they're doing. You're, what, twenty? Haven't you lost your virginity, too?

Riku snorted softly. "I spent most of my life on an island. Do you _think_ I have? I'm not really interested right now."

Lea appreciated Riku's blunt way of dealing with things sometimes. It amused him on the boring days, at the very least. "You've never had anyone special, then," he said, his tongue twisting the word 'special' until it sounded like a curse.

"No, I don't have a Roxas," Riku muttered, licking his thumb to turn the page.

Lea looked at him again. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hah. I can read you better than I can read this book," Riku replied calmly. "It's not the friendship you're missing; it's the romance that you never had."

"It's both," Lea said a little defensively. "I don't even know if he wants that sort of thing. There's a big age gap between us."

"He'd be nineteen now, you know," Riku pointed out, "if he ages with Sora."

"Nineteen, twenty-seven. Like I said: big age difference."

"But it's legal, now, don't forget."

Lea scoffed. "Like I care about rules."

"You care about Roxas."

Having no response to that, Lea decided to change the subject, subtly. "... Have you figured anything more else about that, by the way?"

Riku looked up again. "Not really... but I was thinking..." He narrowed his eyes slightly. "If we bring him back to where Roxas was created... we might be able to simply use the transformation that normal Nobodies go through when they change over. His body might come through naturally, well, as naturally as this can go, but..."

Lea sat up. "But what?"

"... If I try to take him out, there's the chance that... I don't know."

"Riku," Lea started, dropping his tone to the right level of _don't mess with me_.

Riku drummed his fingers against the table. "Well, Roxas spent his entire existence trying so hard to be his own person. That's what made it so difficult to piece Sora back together when he was asleep... I'm worried that Roxas might try to take _Sora's_ heart as his own when I take him out, because he doesn't have one that belongs to him."

"Which means..." Lea trailed off. "What does that mean, exactly?"

Riku shook his head. "Limitless, really. Sora, Roxas, or both of them could die from a lack of heart. Roxas could be born again as a Nobody, without a heart, and he would not have a human self to return to like the rest of the Organization did. Sora could become a Heartless and cease to exist, Darkness could take over both of them..." he trailed off. "It's complicated in normal means, working with somebody's heart, but this is..."

"Dangerous," Lea supplied listlessly.

Riku nodded. "Yes. I'm still researching into it, although there's not a lot that I can really look into. It's a lot of guesswork, and something I'm not willing to even attempt without looking around here in our realm _and_ in Sora's heart."

Lea nodded once, slowly laying back down. "Alright. Just let me know." He directed his gaze back to the ceiling.

Silence reigned for some time, until:

"Hey, Lea?"

"Hmm?"

"You haven't lost your virginity, either," Riku said bluntly.

Indignation, sharp and bright, shot to Lea's mind. "I have so!" he retorted.

"Really? With your right hand and your chakrams as witness?"

Lea snorted. " _If_ you want to know, it was about six months after I joined the Organization." He could feel Riku's eyes burning holes into the side of his head. "Yes," Lea drawled, not looking up. "I'm implying that I slept with one of the members of Organization XIII, but no, I'm not going to kill the suspense."

He'd had a rough patch back then. Coming to grips with the idea of not having a heart, not having feelings. He thought sex would fix it all, prove them wrong. It hadn't.

"But you've never had a relationship while you have a heart," Riku stated.

"... No," Lea shortly. "No, I suppose I haven't."

Riku smiled. "Well. Sora's got one up on both of us, then."

Lea stifled a sigh. He knew that shouldn't grate on his pride... but it really got on his nerves.

* * *

 

Lea pressed his fingers into his palms, watching impatiently as Mickey put Sora back into an enchanted sleep. He couldn't calm down, he couldn't relax, not now. This was the first time that Riku was going in specifically for Roxas. He wasn't pulling him out, not now, because there was still too much unknown, but...

"How can you have the strength to fidget?"

Lea looked up and did a reflexive double-glance from habit. "Oh, Ventus, not now-"

"Most people call me 'Ven', you know," Ventus said, sitting down next to Lea.

"Sorry. Ven," Lea muttered, looking back at Sora.

Mickey nodded and went over to Riku; they were talking, but Lea couldn't hear them.

"I know why you've been avoiding me, you know," Ventus said shortly.

Lea swallowed. "Yeah. No offense meant or anything," he said, glancing at him briefly. Briefly, because he could only do briefly with him these days. He felt bad about that. He missed being able to be carefree like when he had met Ventus for the first time... but those days were long since passed. Maybe, eventually, they'd get back to where they had been... and improve on that friendship, but Lea couldn't do it right now.

"None taken," Ventus said.

Lea watched as Riku aimed his Keyblade, pointing it at Sora to unlock his heart, again, to begin the dive. Light exploded forth from the Keyblade, driving straight into Sora's chest. It was unsettling to watch, but it was even more unsettling when Riku crumpled next to him. He knew they were both fine, but it was strange to watch Riku 'leave' his body.

Minutes ticked by. It had taken a long time for Ventus, but they weren't doing extraction today, so...

"They'll get him out, you know."

Lea flicked his gaze to Ventus without moving his head. "... Yes."

"I would tell you to relax, but I know what it's like to lose someone important..." Ventus trailed off before shaking his head. "Just... keep your faith," he said, reaching out to grip Lea's shoulder. "And believe."

Lea's heart crashed into his mouth and pounded frantically for a moment before dropping down again to his chest. This was all wrong, this was just like Roxas, but it wasn't Roxas, it wouldn't be Roxas no matter how much he wished it was and the touch was all wrong but the eyes and the hair and the face and the voice and -

He stood up quickly, knocking Ventus's hand off of his shoulder. Everyone in the room who was conscious looked up at him.

"... Sorry..." he muttered.

The door burst open seconds after he spoke. "Mickey!"

Mickey looked up quickly. "Minnie? What's wrong?" he asked, crossing the room quickly.

"There's darkness in the Castle!" Minnie replied.

Lea's head snapped up.

"Not members of the Organization?" Mickey asked. Dark corridors set off the alarms, and some of the members came and went as they needed.

"No! Pluto alerted me moments ago! Mickey, I think-"

"Donald, Goofy, take Minnie and go!" Mickey ordered, looking at Donald and Goofy in the doorway. They followed orders without pause. "Ventus, get Aqua!"

"Right!" Ventus pushed past them, running out of the room.

"Kairi, Lea, come with me!" Mickey said, summoning his Keyblade.

"What about Sora and Riku?" Kairi asked, her Keyblade appearing at her side.

"We can't wake them now!" Mickey said. "Leave them be, I'll post a guard! We're needed elsewhere! Come!"

Mickey ran out of the room. Kairi followed.

Lea cast another glance at Riku and Sora.

"Lea!!"

Lea summoned his Keyblade, effortlessly, this time. "Don't fail me now, Roxas," he murmured. "I'll be back for you. I'll keep my promise."

He turned and ran from the room, Keyblade burning bright in his hand.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex, secrets, and a cliffhanger. That's all you need, right?
> 
> I do not own _Kingdom Hearts_ or any affiliates. They belong to Disney and Square Enix.


	6. Damage Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shit hits the fan.

The shit hit the fan.

That was about the only way Lea could describe it. Darkness in the Castle led to Darkness springing up across the worlds and two Keyblade wielders down, they were at a disadvantage.

But the thirteen darknesses didn't come. Only three did. Ventus and Aqua went one way, Mickey and Kairi another, and Lea by himself to Beast's Castle. He'd been training the longest between him and Kairi, so he was elected to go alone. He didn't care.

He didn't know who he ended up fighting, but it ended up feeling familiar. It wasn't Isa, he didn't think... It wasn't Braig. It was Darkness. Corrupted Darkness. He felt pity for whoever it had been before the Darkness had taken over, but Lea had no idea who it was.

Couldn't worry about it, either. They'd be fighting thirteen of these guys. There was really only one who he was interested in and, to be honest, he would rather be back at the Castle right now than out here.

Lea licked blood from his wrist, running back into the corridor to get back to Disney Castle. His injuries were superficial, but if someone had gotten into the Castle... Riku and Sora were defenseless... and if Sora died, there was a chance that Riku would get trapped in his heart, and then Roxas would _never_ be able to come back.

"Ventus!" Lea burst out of the dark corridor just outside of the Castle and ran inside. "Mickey? Kairi!" He didn't receive a response - which meant that they must still be out and Lea didn't know where they had gone. "Riku!"

He was just about to fling the door where they'd left Sora and Riku open when the door was wrenched open. Riku stood there, pale and shaking, but bright-eyed and tense.

"Riku," Lea breathed. "You're alright."

" _You're_ not," Riku retorted, grabbing his sleeve to pull him in.

Lea staggered over the threshold, glancing towards where they had left Sora. He was still there, still asleep. It took a long time for them to wake up after a dive, although Sora usually woke up before Riku... whatever. "What? I'm fine."

"Sure you are. What's this?" Riku reached up, touching Lea's neck.

Lea flinched before he knew why. "Ow. Okay, I guess I'm not. Did you find anything useful in Sora's heart?"

Riku pushed him into a chair; Lea fell into it without resistance, gingerly reaching up to touch his neck. His fingertips came back stained with blood.

"I always find useful things in Sora's heart," Riku said, peeling Lea's coat away. "But in response to Roxas, nothing that's going to help us right now. And since the War's started - I'm assuming this is what this is, since everybody else is gone - we aren't going to have time to worry about it now."

Lea sighed. "As far as I can tell, there were only three," he said, retreating back to the safety of talking about what they knew. "Mickey went with Kairi and Ven went with Aqua."

"You were alone?"

Lea nodded, stopping when the movement hurt. "Yeah. Funny... I thought the Darkness would be stronger."

"Xehanort will be. It's likely he sent his least powerful ones first, to test you all. That way, he's keeping us worn down as well as on edge." Riku paused. "You don't know what happened here?" His fingers pressed a ghost of pressure against his neck. "It's pretty deep."

"Nah. I tune pain out."

Riku huffed through his nose. "Idiot. Stay here."

Lea looked up. "Where are you going? Should you be up and about?"

"I wasn't the one fighting, so it's my job to do damage control," Riku said, walking out of the room.

"Hey, you shouldn't leave the room!" Lea protested.

"I'll be fine!" Stubborn, Riku was. He must get it from Sora.

Lea sighed and shrank down in the chair. He was exhausted and his body was starting to shake from, what, exertion? What a nightmare.

"Take it easy."

"I don't think I can take it much easier," Lea said, looking up as Riku walked back into the room.

"You're shaking."

"I'm tired," Lea muttered, leaning back.

"Mhmm."

Lea opened his eyes, unaware that he'd shut them. "What's that for?"

"Hm?"

"That 'mhmm' noise. What's that supposed to mean?" Lea muttered.

"It means this was your first real battle and you've got a heart. You're allowed to be shaky afterwards," Riku said, matter-of-factly, dousing Lea's shoulder in, given the burn, what was probably rubbing alcohol.

"Ow! Why aren't you doing Cure?" Lea demanded, ignoring the battle comment. It wasn't his first battle. He'd killed countless people in Organization XIII. _But those weren't people_ , his mind supplied, _and this is the first time you've had to fight for your life while you have a heart._ He ignored that; he didn't want to get sentimental about all of this. It wasn't the time or place. This was war.

"Because I'm not back to my full strength to do that and neither are you. Anyway, I thought you tuned out pain."

Lea sighed and leaned forward, bracing his hands against the seat of his chair. "When did you become so patient?" he muttered.

Riku snorted. "I'm Sora's best friend. I _have_ to be."

Lea's lips twisted towards a smirk. He raised his head to look at Sora, still sleeping peacefully sitting against the wall.

Must be nice.

Lea was ready for the whole thing to be over with, suddenly, but he knew it had only just begun.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler chap. Oh, you say you want Roxas? That's why you're still reading? ... Well, yeah, I knew that. :) Seven is a lucky number... and this was Chapter Six. Just saying.
> 
> I do not own _Kingdom Hearts_ or anything affiliated. Disney and Square Enix owns it!  
> Leave a kudos or comment if you're enjoying the story. Thanks!


	7. Best Friends: Then and Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old best friends and new best friends come back to visit.

"Why did you become a seeker of light?!"

"When-" Lea lunged forward. "- did _you_ -" He blocked an attack. " - give into the _darkness_!?" he yelled, cutting through Saïx's razor-sharp defense and landing a direct hit that sent shadows flying. "We had so many plans-"

Saïx swung his Claymore before Lea could react - the darkness did strange things to a person and their capabilities, and Saïx was fast - and the heavy blade hit Lea square across the chest. He went flying backwards, caught himself with Aerial Recovery, and twisted around to land lightly, and out of breath, a few feet away.

"Do you not understand how _foolish_ you are, Lea? To give in to the whims of a fake and a puppet?! _This_ is the true world!" Saïx yelled. "This is what the world has come to. Make no mistake!"

Lea growled and snapped his chakrams into the mass of darkness surrounding Saïx, but the weapons and the flames were swallowed by the shadows. "The world is not made of darkness," he retorted. "It's made of people who _choose_ to act-"

" _Silence!_ "

"You don't get to order me around! Not now, not anymore!" Lea jumped forward again, Keyblade whizzing through the air as fire lit the length, the warmth licking his fingers and spurring him on. "They took _everything_ away from you! And if you don't have the strength to get it back, then I _will_!"

"Come, then," Saïx hissed. "Show me my old friend, Lea. We'll see which one prevails tonight! Let this be our last battlefield, if only for old time's sake!"

Lea grinned in the flickering light of his in between Saïx's complete darkness. "Are you ready?"

"I can see that you are."

* * *

 

Lea stumbled once, twice, and then crashed to his knees.

"Good... job... Lea..."

Lea swallowed, throat protesting against the ash and smoke. He knew their goal was to defeat the darkness, but he still couldn't process that he had dealt the final blow to one of his friends.

"... I missed you... you know."

Lea stopped. "... Isa...?"

"... Feels weird... to be free... after all this time."

"... Isa..." Lea crawled the last few feet over to him. "It's really you."

He had expected the pain of killing his friend, because he knew Isa was in there somewhere beneath that darkness, even if Isa hadn't known it himself.

But he _hadn't_ expected anything like this. To have to witness Isa's rebirth... and then consequent death.

"... Sorry about everything, Lea," Isa mumbled. "I wanted... to have the strength... to do what you do... but..."

Lea hesitated before pressing his finger against Isa's blood-stained lips. "Nah. You had your own demons, your place wasn't to follow me for the rest of my life."

"I wanted to... protect you. Foolhardy... picking up strays... being obnoxious..." Isa laughed weakly. "Shoulda known you would have... betrayed the Organization..."

Lea licked blood from his own lips. "... I'm sorry." It felt cursory to say, like he had to say it now, even though he wasn't sorry that he'd left the Organization. He wasn't sorry to have _joined_ , either... but he wasn't sorry that he had left.

Isa shook his head slowly. "... Do... what feels right. Find Roxas."

"... Yeah," he mumbled. "'m trying to. For the... for the record, I didn't want to have to pick between you and Roxas," he said slowly. "I wanted both of you."

Isa sighed thinly. "No... Roxas was light... I've been darkness... for a long time." He laughed weakly. "Would've picked light myself..." He coughed heartily and Lea flinched when blood splattered across Isa's face.

Hesitation found no home this time; Lea reached forward and scooped Isa off the ground, pulling him into his arms. "Sorry I couldn't free you," he mumbled into familiar ice blue hair. His eyes stung.

Isa painstakingly wrapped his arms around Lea weakly. "... But you did," he said with a squeeze.

"Yeah, too late."

"Perfect timing," Isa mumbled.

Lea laughed weakly, although it died away the moment that he felt Isa go limp in his arms. "... Far from," he mumbled, brushing his lips against Isa's temple.

He'd come back for his body, he'd give him a proper burial, he would do all of that, because Isa was human again and he'd never deserved any of this. Neither of them had darkness in their hearts... not to that degree. They were just trials. They had gotten the short end of the stick and even if Lea hadn't been on good terms with Isa for the last however many years... he still deserved a proper goodbye.

But, for now, he had to swallow back the lump in his throat and get on with the rest of the darkness because just outside of these castle doors, his friends were waiting. The other six wielders were waiting, fighting through Radiant Garden and on their way to Destiny Islands. It would all end where it began.

Keyblade in hand, Lea swallowed back the emotion until he could have some time to properly deal with it. None of them could breathe again until the war was finally over.

* * *

 

"My friends will _always_ be my power!" Sora yelled.

"If you want darkness to consume the world, you'll have to go through us," Riku said, stepping up next to Sora.

"We won't back down!" Kairi stepped up on Sora's other side.

"You've taken our friend-" Ventus said.

" - and we aren't stopping until we get him _back_ ," Aqua finished, brandishing her Keyblade like the rest of them.

"What the rest of them said," Lea said, stepping up next to them. He'd never been one for those sentimental final battle speeches, anyway.

"This has to end here and now, Xehanort! This war is simply pointless! How many people have already lost their lives to your schemes?" Mickey demanded.

Somehow, they had made it here, together, in one piece. Like clockwork, they arrived at Destiny Islands nearly simultaneously, each with their Keyblade in hand (or in Lea's case: a Keyblade in one hand, a chakram in the other). Not that they looked ready for battle. The opposite, actually. They looked worse for the wear. They were all scathed and scarred in some way. Riku was favoring his left arm and Lea himself was walking with a limp. Kairi's hair hadn't been so red before, so there was a head wound there and - Lea stopped analyzing. It wouldn't do any good. As long as they could breathe, they could walk, and as long as they could walk, they could fight. End of story.

Xehanort, the elder (the Master), simply laughed in their faces. "Those who have failed in the face of the Keyblade War are not worthy to survive in the new world being created."

"A world of darkness is not a world worth living in!" Riku said. "From someone who's been there, I know where I want to belong: here, in the light!"

"And for all of the people you've taken away from us, we're not going to stand here and let you beat us now!" Ventus added. "We've gotten rid of your other twelve! A union isn't going to help you now!"

Lea resisted the urge to sigh. "Shall we?" he asked instead, swinging his Keyblade.

"Yeah!" A chorus of six other voices.

If nothing else, they were enthusiastic. And they'd come this far: this was the final battle.

* * *

 

Lea swung his Keyblade with all his might.

Despite the fact that there was nothing there, he hit a wall. With a grunt, he made to pull his arm back... and couldn't.

Bright light erupted from the end of his Keyblade, the line unlocking like Lea had seen so many times from Sora or Riku's Keyblade, but what was he unlocking and... why couldn't he move?

"Uh, guys?" he asked aloud, glancing towards the others. "Any idea what's happening here?"

When he glanced up, he found that the other six were in the same boat he was in; Keyblades trapped at Xehanort, light exploding from the ends, even Aqua, who'd been knocked back to the ground moments before.

"I... can't... move!" Ventus gasped.

"Don't try and fight it!" Riku said. "The Keyblades know what to do better than we do!"

"Hello! Xehanort's going to-" No more than had Lea said this, the darkness started re-amplifying around Xehanort. "Yeah, see? What now? We can guard and we can't cast. And we certainly can't flee!"

"Stand your ground!"

"Oh, great advice!" Lea retorted. "Hold your breath and hope you don't die!" He summoned up one chakram. "Sora!"

Sora glanced up, catching the chakram as Lea tossed it over.

"Sorry, don't have any more. Well, except for myself," Lea added, summoning up his other chakram to use as a shield himself.

 _"If you - want your old friends back, so be it,"_ Xehanort's voice hissed.

Lea barely had time to open his mouth to try and phrase the question before the blast of darkness hit. He went flying, his back hitting the wall before he crumpled to the ground. His Keyblade went flying and vanished and didn't come back when he called for it.

"Not a good time-" he started.

Screaming cut him off. His head snapped up so fast that his head spun from an intensifying headache, his stomach dropping to his feet as the screaming continued.

" _Sora_!" Riku shouted.

Sora. Sora. Not Sora. Anybody but Sora. Nobody, but... Not _Sora_.

Lea sprang to his feet. "Sora!"

He staggered to his feet and ran the way to the screaming - the screaming, constant, painful, it made him want to cover his ears, turn away, anything but Sora and Roxas, please - only to come to a stop as the darkness around them dispersed.

Xehanort was gone, the light filtered back through, but...

Sora lay writhing on the ground, an invisible force-field of sorts around him because Lea couldn't go any further and neither could Riku, apparently. The silver-haired teen was physically panicking, not that Lea blamed him; he felt pretty damn close to panicking himself.

"Sora! _Sora_!"

"Riku, your Keyblade-"

"Can't summon it!" Riku snapped. "Do _something_!"

"Are all of our Keyblades gone?" Ventus asked.

Lea wanted to say that his was gone, too, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from Sora. He knew it was selfish thinking, but if Sora died... Roxas would, too. And it wasn't like he didn't care about Sora. But... how... what had _happened_? What had Xehanort done in a final attempt to control them? He was gone now, gone forever, maybe, which maybe explained the sudden light and the absence of their abilities to summon their Keyblades, but-

"Look!"

From Sora's body, there was a column of darkness forming, surrounding him. It floated aimlessly, dancing around him for seconds that seemed to last too long, before it began to form something else.

Up and up traveled the smoky tendrils, black replaced with a solid form, black on white and blue with yellow, and Lea's chest constricted so tight that it felt like his heart was going to explode straight from his body as he took in a shaking breath at the form created from the darkness.

"... Roxas," he breathed out, staring at the blonde's blank face as the darkness around both of the boys melted away.

Roxas's form shifted before it collapsed, hitting the ground next to Sora, both of their blue eyes hidden from existence as light once again encompassed the world.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> I do not own _Kingdom Hearts_. It belongs to Disney and Square Enix.  
>  Thanks!


	8. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is what it is.

Lea's fingers hadn't stopped drumming on the table since he'd gotten back. He had a broken leg and no energy left to heal it, his chakrams were battered and his Keyblade was missing. He didn't know where Isa's body had gotten to and the rest of his merry band of misfit Keyblade wielders were nowhere to be found, but _Roxas_ was here and that's all that _mattered_.

Except it wasn't.

Lea knew that. He stared at the small, unconscious figure in the bed with a never-ending mixture of emotions coursing through his veins. Roxas hadn't woken up, Sora hadn't woken up. They'd gone back to Disney Castle and Lea had immediately gone with Roxas to get him tucked into a bed.

Ienzo had come, after the battle, to check on both Roxas and Sora. He was the closest thing that they had to a doctor on call, but he couldn't find anything physically wrong with either of them. Riku couldn't get into Sora's heart without a Keyblade and they wouldn't attempt something like on Roxas even if they would have had one. The fact that they were both here, existing, together, set everyone's hair on end, Lea's especially.

But. Roxas had a pulse. Roxas had a heart. Roxas was human.

The smallest impossible noise from his sleeping friend drew Lea's attention immediately. "Roxas?" he asked out loud, voice cracking from disuse. He'd been sitting up here for almost twenty-seven hours since the battle with Xehanort. He wasn't leaving until he was sure Roxas was okay.

Roxas groaned slightly, fingertips twitching.

Lea sat up so fast that the chair toppled, but he didn't pick it up. He strode over to Roxas's bedside, crouching down. "Roxas. Roxas, open your eyes!"

Roxas curled up slightly, head tilting away. His hair fell into his eyes. It was long, longer than Lea remembered it, but, to be fair, it had been almost four years since the fateful time where he had lost him to Sora.

Lea swept a bit of that blonde hair out of Roxas's face. They'd have to get him a haircut. "Come on, Roxas. Wake up for me," he urged.

Roxas's eyelids fluttered uselessly for a moment. Lea held his breath without being aware of it.

Slowly, _slowly_ , bright blue, ocean blue, something more blue than turquoise and less deep than navy, tropical blue, like a thousand different fish swimming through the clearest ever ocean, met his gaze. Roxas blinked once, then twice, before his eyes finally stayed open.

"Roxas," Lea breathed.

Roxas blinked again before he smiled, faintly. "... Axel..."

Lea didn't bother to correct him. If there was one person on this earth that he wanted them to call him 'Axel', it was Roxas.

Bypassing that, he couldn't even _think_. Instead, the rush of emotion that came with his whispered name from that oh-so-familiar voice was both eluded to yet completely foreign. He'd been feeling it, just slightly over the weeks and weeks that he'd been working with Sora and Riku and the rest of them. The strange little swoop in his stomach when he asked about Roxas. The many nights where he imagined what their reunion would be like and the thrill of joy he'd felt. The idea of being able to touch him, hold him, drink him in in a totally human way, that made his heart swell with... love. (He felt like a lovesick fool thinking that, but it really was love because it made him feel complete in ways he just couldn't explain.)

But this was everything and more, exemplified a thousand times over, and it made his hands shake and his knees weak and his vision swim and- fucking _hell_ , where in the actual _fuck_ did his masculinity go?! Roxas made him weak.

Fortunately, he was willing to deal with that.

"Roxas," Lea repeated. He covered his mouth when it came out somewhat strangled, halfway between a sob and a whisper. He laughed waveringly. "Sorry."

Roxas's smile faded away, eyebrows pinching together in the customary worried look he'd always taken back in the Organization. "... What...?" He cleared his throat. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Lea swallowed, reaching forward to grab Roxas's hand. "I'm fine. I'm good. Better than always, actually."

"... You're crying," Roxas stressed, but then he paused. "... How do I know what crying is...?"

"You're human," Lea said. "You're human. You, and me, and all of the members of Organization XIII." (That weren't dead, but he wasn't going to add that for awhile.) "We have hearts."

"Oh..." Roxas blinked before reaching out to press his fingertips against Lea's cheek. When he pulled them away, they were wet.

Lea had picked up on the fact that his eyes were watering (he was _not_ crying.), but somehow, it just got worse and then he was sobbing.

Flat-out, disgusting, helpless sobbing.

"Axel!"

He didn't know if Roxas was more concerned, or if he was himself . He'd never experienced emotion like this before. Not crying that had him doubled over the bed with his face buried into his arm (because he wasn't letting go of Roxas's hand, wouldn't let go, not now, not again, never or ever), crying so hard that his shoulders shook and his chest heaved and his throat got too tight and he couldn't breathe save for wild gasps that he forced past his numb lips.

It was a happy moment. So... why was he crying?

"Axel, should I- ow."

Lea's head snapped up. "Don't move," he choked out, sucking in a deep breath that shook and rattled all the way to his core. "Don't... you're still... weak." He drew in another deep breath, coughing and spluttering over it. He scrubbed his hands across his face. "I'm... I'll be okay..." He rubbed his nose on the back of his hand. "Sorry..."

He sighed heavily and looked up at Roxas's awaiting face. "... I missed you," he said quietly.

"I... I think I can tell," Roxas muttered, laughing a bit. "I..." He paused to cough, clearing his throat again.

Lea shot up. "I'll get you some water. Hang on." He reluctantly let go of Roxas so that he could step off into the adjoining bathroom for some water for the blonde, although he didn't linger away long. "Here."

Roxas took a few sips before handing it back. "Thanks... I, um... missed you, too," he mumbled.

Lea grinned widely and Roxas smiled back at him. Perfect. This was perfection personified, except... silence descended then, and Lea realized that he had absolutely _no_ idea what to say. It had been almost four years and he'd practically lost his mind. Roxas still had to be out of it and this was his first day with a heart, and...

"... Don't..." Roxas started, his cheeks tinting pink as he broke the awkward silence, "... Don't friends... hug or- or something? When they've been away or... or hurt?"

"Picked things up from Sora?" Lea asked, grinning again.

"Maybe a bit," Roxas admitted, smiling.

"Figured," Lea said, crawling onto the bed to wrap his arms around Roxas, as tightly as he dared and as close as he dared let himself get. "You have no idea how much I missed you, Roxas."

"I've missed ice cream," Roxas muttered, awkwardly slipping his arms around Lea, although there was no space lost between them in the embrace. "Sora hates it."

Lea snorted in laughter. "He's cracked up. It's delicious." Although he'd gone off of it, because it was his and Roxas's thing, and it felt weird to do it by himself. Weird and lonely, too.

Roxas rest his head against Lea's shoulder. "... Is... this is what Sora feels like... when he's with Kairi..."

Lea made a face, although his inner self jerked back into a frenzied panic at those words. Mostly his heart, really, and not really a panic, but... something odd. "That had to be annoying. Sharing _emotions_ ," he said instead of acknowledging the inner turmoil.

"Well, I couldn't... empathize," Roxas mumbled. "I didn't have a heart. But..."

"Emotional transference," Lea supplied.

"Maybe," Roxas mumbled. "Is this... um, well, I always thought I... wanted to be around you because of... well, we're best friends... but... is this..." he trailed off.

 _Spit it out!_ Lea wanted to say, but instead, he just raised his eyebrows. "Is this what, Roxas?"

Roxas huffed and turned his head away. His face was no longer pink, but red to match Lea's hair, and he averted his gaze. "I don't know what love's supposed to be like."

 _Love_. "And I'm supposed to know?"

"You know everything. Know-it-all."

Lea laughed while Roxas shoved at his shoulder. This was just like the old days, but without the clocktower and the looming threat of Roxas being taken away.

"Seriously, though?"

Lea was dangerously close to dipping his head and pressing his lips to the little crease that appeared between Roxas's eyebrows when he frowned. "I don't know. Tell me how you feel."

Roxas still didn't look up. "... Happy, I think. Um, r-really happy, like... like back when we had ice cream but better than that. And warm," he said, pressing a bit closer into Lea's body. "And... safe, I think, like... like something like when I went back with Sora and I knew that was what was supposed to be but now I'm out of Sora, but here and... I feel that way." Roxas shifted. "And confused, like... like back when I asked you what love first was but we didn't have an answer. And... my... my stomach's all... all upset or something and my palms are sweaty and I... I feel stupid because I don't know what I'm talking about and I don't think I'm doing a very good job at explaining it-"

Lea ducked his head and pressed his lips against Roxas's.

Roxas's eyes got wide, almost comically so, so much that Lea almost laughed against his lips, but this was something that he had been wanting to do for a long time so he wasn't going to ruin it like that. But then, Roxas kissed him back, ridiculously inexperienced, bumping noses and teeth with too much stray saliva creating a little bit too much noise, but never-the-less particularly enthusiastic.

He gently pushed the blonde away after a few moments, letting Roxas catch his breath for all of his frenzied trying-to-hit-the-mark. "Take it easy. We've got all night." And all day tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that...

Roxas's face was burning bright, but he huffed and rubbed at his mouth. "Sorry. 've never kissed anyone before. I try to tune out whenever I catch Sora and Kairi doing something..."

Memories filtered back and Lea laughed out loud. "Like sex on the beach?"

Roxas's head snapped up. "You were there. Why were you there?!"

"I... walked in on it," Lea muttered. "I thought maybe you were probably freaking out, being a virgin to the world and all."

"I didn't... really get it," Roxas muttered. "But it has something to do with the funny feelings you give me, doesn't it?"

"Funny feelings..." Lea laughed again. "Yeah... Can I let you in on a secret?" he asked, leaning close to Roxas again.

Roxas tilted his head slightly, like a dog who'd heard a word he recognized. "What?"

"You give me funny feelings, too," Lea whispered, leaning forward to press his lips softly against Roxas's again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) Happy endings!
> 
>  
> 
> But it's not the ending.


	9. Passion and Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their hearts can finally guide them to where they've been trying to go since the beginning.

The news came in a rush of tidings and well-wishes - _we're glad to have you back, Roxas! We're so happy to see you! I'm glad you're alright! Don't push yourself too hard, Roxas. Oh, Axel, do try to contain yourself around him. We're still trying to catch up on lost sleep. What? We're not doing anything! Leave us alone!_ \- because there was always bad with the good: Sora wasn't waking up.

He didn't know _why_ Sora wasn't waking up. It had been a whole two days since Roxas had woken up, and his little blonde was even up to wandering around on his own and they'd gone to Twilight Town yesterday.

But they weren't talking much to him, so he didn't see if they were worried or not, although he wasn't worrying, either. He couldn't focus on anything else except the blonde hair and the blue eyes, which was currently sitting, tense and back stiff, in front of him.

"Oh, relax," Lea said. He ran the plastic comb through a lock of Roxas's hair, sectioning it off and biting the comb afterwards to free up his hands to trim that section of hair. "'m nod going do cud you."

Roxas shifted minutely. "I don't even know-"

"I said," Lea said, removing the comb, "that I wasn't going to cut you. It's too long, anyway. A little extra wouldn't hurt."

"Axel!"

Lea laughed, grabbing Roxas's shoulder and pushing him back into the chair. "Just kidding, Rox. I liked your hair the way it was in the Organization. I'm just going to cut it thataway."

"How do you know how to cut hair, anyway?" Roxas muttered, shoulders slumping.

"Because I cut my own hair and, if I can cut my own hair, I can cut your hair." He swatted at his shoulder. "Sit up straight or it'll be lopsided!"

Roxas sighed and sat up.

Lea loved how simple it was to fall back into their old routine. Well. A little bit more humanized of a routine, anyway, given the hair wash and cut, but... It was nice. It was boring and quiet and emotional and Lea loved it. Domestic was good. He could handle being domestic.

"Alright, just a bit more," Lea said, walking around front and looking at him. "There's the Roxas I remember." He leaned down and dragged the comb through Roxas's hair again, gently edging away at the locks framing his face.

"I don't want to look fifteen again," Roxas muttered.

"No," Lea agreed. "Because then our relationship would _really_ make me look like a pedophile."

Roxas laughed. His breath smelled like papou fruit.

Lea smiled softly, brushing the pad of his thumb against Roxas's cheekbone. "You don't look fifteen anymore."

Roxas glanced up. His face was turning red again. "... Thanks?"

Lea brushed Roxas's hair behind his ear. "Mhmm."

Time seemed impossibly unnatural when he was with Roxas. Even now, it was breaking down, shifting slower, focussing to a pinpoint only surrounding them both. It was solely him and Roxas, here, and now, where everything was perfect, or the illusion of.

"You've grown up," Lea added. "Grown into yourself."

"Hey..."

"You're quite... quite something, Roxas," Lea said softly.

"So are you," Roxas replied, raising his eyebrows. He reached out and draped his arms around Lea's neck. "We both are, though. Nobodies with hearts."

Lea hummed in thought. "Suppose we are."

"Not a bad thing," Roxas said, gliding his fingers through Lea's hair.

Lea dropped the scissors and comb. "... Not a bad thing, nope."

Somehow, slowly, they ended up abandoning the chair and the haircut, the idle-minded heart talk and domesticated human life, traversing over to the bed where they ended up laid out.

"This is weird," Roxas murmured.

"Hmm?" Lea mumbled, not quite pulling away from Roxas's lips.

"... Feeling this," Roxas murmured.

"It is weird," Lea agreed. "But it's good."

"It's good," Roxas agreed, tilting his head as Lea kissed down his neck.

Whispers in the semi-light cast through the curtains turned to gentle kisses and quiet sighs, turned to built-up back passion in both of them, turned to a frenzy of hot breath over sweat-slicked skin that lost outer layers as time ticked on.

Lea wasn't sure how it happened, he thought, as he rolled over to 'his' side of the bed. He shook his limp hair out of his face and squeezed Roxas's bare shoulder.

Roxas shifted over, snuggling against Lea's chest.

Lea struggled to not wince as Roxas's weight pressed against his overheated skin. He was good with heat, but uncomfortable stickiness was something else. Not to be deterred, though, he looped his arm loosely around Roxas's shoulder.

"... 's better when it's you and me and not Sora and Kairi," Roxas mumbled.

Lea laughed lightly. "Yes. I agree. You know, it's really too bad that Sora didn't end up with Riku. You could have picked up some tips."

Both of their faces were flushed straight down to their chests, but Roxas's got impossibly more red when Lea said that. "I _told_ you that I didn't know what I was doing!"

"That's because you're a virgin and you didn't know you were gay until..." Lea mimed checking his watch. "About two and a half days ago," he said, smiling sarcastically.

"Is it bad," Roxas said, shifting a bit, "that we just jumped into bed after two and a half days...?"

Lea shrugged. "Nah. We were together for a year back in the Organization, although you didn't know that you loved me. And then-"

"Wait," Roxas interrupted.

"What?" Lea glanced down at him.

"You said... _I_ didn't know that I loved you... did that... does that mean that you knew that you loved me back when we were in the Organization?"

"Uummm..." Lea traced idle designs on Roxas's shoulder. "I don't really know about love... but I was... well." He huffed out a breath. "When you left the Organization, I was... sad. Never experienced real emotion before, because, obviously, we didn't have hearts, but _you_... made me... feel whole. And I knew... _something_."

Roxas laughed slightly. "What does that mean?"

"Hey, I was confused," Lea retorted, smacking Roxas upside the head gently. "I was feeling things I wasn't meant to." He paused. "I went after you, you know."

Roxas glanced up at him.

"After you left..." Lea shook hair out of his face again (humidity, ugh). "I went after you. Left the Organization, too. I kidnapped Kairi..."

"What?"

Lea grimaced. " _Not_ my best moment." He sighed. "But you were with Sora and I thought that if I took the one thing most important to him, he would come to get her back, and I could get _you_ back."

Roxas gave a little 'huh'. "Thanks... I guess?"

Lea smiled faintly. "Uh huh. ... I love you, you know."

"Figured it out a bit," Roxas mumbled.

"So, you've got it memorized. Good."

Roxas laughed. "Axel?"

"Hm?"

"I love you, too."

Lea smiled wider. "Well, I was hoping so. The 'I slipped and fell right into your ass' excuse _probably_ wouldn't hold up well otherwise."

Roxas snorted. "Hey."

"What?"

"Go get me something to eat."

Lea blinked. "What?

"I'm hungry," Roxas retorted. "Get me something to eat."

Lea blinked again before laughing. "Is this how it's going to be?" He kicked at the blankets tangled at his feet. "Alright. What do you want?"

"Um, maybe-"

A knock on the door interrupted him.

Lea's attention snapped to the door. "Just a sec!" He grabbed the tangled blankets and jerked them up to Roxas. He grabbed his boxers off the floor and stepped into them, forgoing shirt and pants to answer the door.

"What?" he greeted unceremoniously, cracking the door open enough to talk to whomever had interrupted but so that Roxas was still out of sight. (Not that everyone _didn't_ think that they were fucking each other or had been or anything.)

Riku raised his eyebrows as he took in Lea's disheveled appearance.

"What?" Lea asked. "It's hot."

"Yeah..." Riku didn't sound like he believed him a bit. "Anyway, we need to talk."

"About what?" Lea asked. "Can't this wait? I was about to get a shower." Which wasn't entirely a lie, he thought. He was stiflingly sweaty.

Riku crossed his arms. "Sora isn't waking up."

"Yeah. You told me that earlier. Yesterday, I think." Lea ran his fingers through his hair. "But he's alright, isn't he? Ienzo said-"

"Mickey said there might be something wrong with his memory."

Lea stopped, his entire body going rigid. His ears were ringing, buzzing, his heart pounding almost sickeningly in his chest now. "... What...?" he asked lowly.

"That's the reason he didn't wake up the last time. Because of Roxas-"

Lea shoved out of the room, closing the door behind him. He crossed his arms and looked down at Riku. "Because of Roxas existing, Sora didn't wake up. That's what happened last time. But this is different. This is different... isn't it?"

Riku shook his head. "Is it, though? The darkness from Xehanort went into Sora and made his heart restless. Roxas was reborn."

Lea felt his features twist into a glare before he could stop it. "This is _not_ the same thing. Roxas is human. Roxas has his own heart, his own body. You can't expect him to go back _into_ Sora, not like this. Ventus was different because his heart was shattered, but Roxas's is brand new, whole."

"We can shatter it if need be."

Lea straightened up. "Don't even _think_ about it," he hissed, before turning and striding back into Roxas's room. He locked the door behind him.

"Axel?"

Lea shook his head, grabbing Roxas's discarded clothes and throwing them to him. "Get dressed."

"What...?"

"Get dressed," Lea repeated. "We're leaving."

"What?"

"Get _dressed_!"

Roxas frowned. "What's happening? What did Riku say?"

"Roxas," Lea said sharply, pulling his own clothes back on.

Roxas winced but pushed the blankets away, crawling out of bed. "Axel, what's going on?"

"Nothing. We should... just get out of here." He snapped his fingers. "I got it. We'll hit the beach. We've been wanting to do that, right?"

Roxas frowned, pushing his arms through the sleeves in his t-shirt. "Yeah, but... what did Riku say? It has something to do with me, doesn't it - ow."

Lea turned around from pawing through the drawer. "Oh, sorry. I forgot to mention you'll be sore." He abandoned looking for his phone, returning to Roxas's side. "Here, stand up." Leg by leg, he helped the blonde get back into his pants, kissing the soft, exposed skin where Roxas's shirt was hiked over his stomach. "Alright. Need anything else?"

"For you to tell me what got you upset," Roxas muttered.

"I'm not upset." Lea stood up, scooping Roxas into his arms. "We're going to have to get some swimming trunks. Or you can just swim naked," he said, flashing a smile that didn't reach its mark.

"Axel..."

Lea pressed his finger against Roxas's lips. "Shh. Beach. Finally." He summoned up a portal and grabbed his phone, wedged beneath an old shirt, carrying Roxas into the corridor.

He'd just gotten Roxas back. No one was going to take him away from him, not again. He knew that was selfish and he'd get around to feeling bad about it later. Right now, it was a little panic and a little terror and a whole lot of stubbornness.

He couldn't lose him again. Not again. If he did...

Roxas wouldn't be the only one to not exist any more.

That wasn't a guess. That was a promise.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You made a promise. You said you'd always be there to bring us back."


	10. Love and Sex and Sex and Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because Roxas is back doesn't mean everything is perfect, Lea soon realizes.

"Are you going to tell me what upset you?"

Lea stretched, brushing a patch of sand from his elbow. "It's not important."

"It was about me and Sora, wasn't it?" Roxas asked quietly. "Something about him not waking up?"

Lea stared up at the cloudless blue sky.

"Axel... Lea."

Lea glanced sideways at Roxas. "... Don't call me that."

"Why not?" Roxas retorted. "You want everyone else to call you that."

"You're not everyone else."

Roxas sighed. "Don't do this again."

"... What?" Lea asked.

"You're keeping secrets."

Lea closed his breath and drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"Don't tell me it's for my own good," Roxas muttered. "I don't care if it is. I want to know."

Lea didn't look away from the sky.

"Axel?" Roxas crawled over. "You're still not saying anything." He pressed his fingers to Lea's shoulder.

Lea involuntarily tensed up at the touch. After the afternoon they had, neither of them should be the _slightest_ bit tense, but... Roxas was using Lea's obsession with him to his own advantage. That wasn't playing fair.

"Hey. I know you're listening to me." Roxas brushed his lips against his neck. "Whatever it is, you don't have to worry about it. I'll be fine... We'll be fine," he murmured, kissing his jaw. "Please? Just tell me?"

Lea sighed again. "I think they want you to go back to Sora."

"I figured that," Roxas admitted, "because I've never seen you panic," he said, pecking Lea's lips gently.

"I'm not panicking," Lea muttered.

"Worried," Roxas amended.

Lea circled his arms around Roxas, pulling him onto his chest. "How can you be so calm about this? I'm telling you that they want you to go back to Sora. You'll be gone... again."

Roxas nuzzled his face into Lea's neck. "Because... well... I wasn't supposed to exist in the first place."

"Don't _say_ that," Lea muttered.

"We weren't, though," Roxas said. "But... if something happens... I mean... we got to spend this time together... you know..."

Lea shook his head. "Don't get it wrong, it's a gift, but I won't entertain losing it again."

Roxas sighed against Lea's neck.

"I'm not losing you again. If you go, I'm going with you," Lea muttered, turning his face into Roxas's hair. "There really is no point to existence unless you're there."

Roxas pulled away. "What are you talking about?"

Lea shrugged. "If you go back to Sora, I'll just do what I did before... but something with a more permanant outcome."

Roxas stared at him blankly.

"Oh, you don't know... I killed myself," Lea said.

Roxas continued to stare for a few moments before blinking rapidly. "What?"

"Er, Sora was trying to get to the Castle that Never Was and there were a whole lot of Dusks..." Lea trailed off. "Well, long story short, I used an ability that drained all of my power. I think I put it that I put my whole being into an attack and fading away was what happened when you didn't really have a real being to begin with."

Roxas frowned. "... You killed yourself."

"Yes."

"So, how are you here...?"

Lea raised his eyebrows. "How are any of us here?"

Roxas sighed, resting his head on Lea's chest again. "Don't do that again. You won't come back this time."

"Says who?"

"People just don't come back. Nobodies might... but people don't."

"How do you know?"

"I don't," Roxas mumbled, "but I don't want to test the theory with you."

"What difference will it make," Lea asked, "if you're not here and you've gone back into Sora to wake the little brat up?"

"Sora's a good guy," Roxas muttered.

Lea smiled faintly. "Oh... I know. He's a good kid. You were made from him, after all. But... I will never forgive him, or, be able to forgive _any_ of them... if you go away again. It's just... the way I am."

"You make everything difficult," Roxas muttered. "How can I go away knowing that you plan on doing something like _that_ again?"

"Don't, then," Lea advised.

"But what about Sora?"

Lea tightened his grip on Roxas's body, rolling over so the blonde was pressed into the sand beneath his arms. "We will figure it out. We will."

"Believe that," Roxas muttered.

"Well, I can't handle the alternative, we've already seen that." Lea leaned down to capture Roxas's lips. "But enough of that depressing talk. Let's do some other talking."

"I can't talk when you're kissing me," Roxas mumbled.

"Exactly," Lea agreed.

"I think I created... a monster."

"Well, we came to the beach but you won't go in the water," Lea muttered, nosing a hickey that he'd sucked onto Roxas's neck earlier.

Roxas made a noise. "I..." He cleared his throat. "I can't actually swim."

Lea paused with his lips on Roxas's jugular. "What?" He sat up. "You can't swim? You agreed to come to the beach with me but you can't swim?"

Roxas huffed. "Well, I haven't actually had time to take _lessons_ , have I?"

Lea chuckled, sitting back on his heels. "Well, I'll teach you."

Roxas tilted his head away, blonde hair splayed out on the sand. "... Maybe not today."

"Wh- Oh, right." Lea grinned and flopped down next to him again. "That's going to take some getting used to."

"It felt good at the time," Roxas grumbled. "So why does it hurt so bad now?"

"Because you hadn't been deflowered yet," Lea said absently. "It'll stop hurting after you get used to it. Well, stop hurting as much, anyway."

"How do you know so much about it?"

Lea sunk his toes into the wet sand where the tide had come and gone. "... Oh, you know. Just through this and that."

Roxas looked up at him. "'This and that'? What does that mean?"

Lea shrugged a bit. "Nothing, really."

"Axel," Roxas said warningly. (Which was the equivalent of a lion trying to roar but it came out like a newborn kitten's mewl.)

"Yeah, yeah, okay... I've had..." What did he say here? A relationship? Not really. It had been out of spite and for fun. Sex? Well, that was the truth of it but it sounded so blunt. "... I'm gay," he said, instead. It seemed to wrap everything up nicely with a big bow on top.

"... So, you've done this before," Roxas mumbled.

Lea shook his head quickly. "No. Not this. Nothing like this. You're my first... _real_ relationship."

Roxas narrowed his eyes. "So you've had fake ones?"

"Uhh..." Lea shifted uncomfortably. Not often did he find things that made him uncomfortable, but this was one of them. He didn't care to revisit stupid things he had done in his past, especially when it involving doing some _one_ Roxas knew. "I just... I don't think it's possible to call it a 'real' relationship when you didn't have a heart to know what it meant."

"But you have a-" Roxas stopped. He'd reached the inevitable conclusion, obviously. "... Someone in the Organization?"

Lea nodded slightly. "Yes. But it meant _nothing_. I was... I was looking for some way to prove that I wasn't heartless, that I wasn't a Nobody, and I thought sex would do it. It wasn't like this, the way it is with you. I care this time."

"Great... Who was it?"

Lea cringed. "Why are you asking that? It is _not_ going to help anything."

"If it didn't matter, why should who it was matter?"

"Your logical is infallible," Lea muttered, "but it's still not going to help anything. It really doesn't matter."

"Then tell me! Was it Saïx?"

"No! _No!_ Of course not!"

"Tell me!"

"Zexion!"

Roxas froze.

Lea covered his mouth. "... I didn't mean to yell it. Sorry." He dropped his hands. "But I'm telling you that it meant nothing. I was just fooling around. You know?"

The look that Roxas gave him was purely saying _that's bullshit_ without even opening his mouth. But then- "Zexion?!"

"I told you not to ask."

Roxas sat up gingerly. "Why Zexion?"

"I told you, I was just messing around!" He sat up. "Ienzo was turned around about the same time that I was. He could give me the illusion of love without even needing a heart. We were, well, young and stupid and I was angry."

"And horny," Roxas said flatly.

Lea laughed before he could stop himself, pressing his lips into a thin line at the look on Roxas's face. "Look, I told you - it doesn't matter."

Roxas stood up. "Apparently it did then."

"Why are you-" Lea pushed himself to his feet. "Where are you going?"

"Home."

"... And where's that again?"

Roxas stopped, fingers extended to summon his corridor. "... I don't know." He stepped through the darkness.

"Roxas!"

The darkness vanished into the air, leaving absence in its wake. Lea groaned and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes.

This heart business. It was a lot trickier than he thought.

 


	11. Resolve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reconstruction?

"Look, all I'm saying is if Roxas shows up here and tries to kill you, don't blame me."

"Who else exactly would I blame?" Ienzo asked politely, looking at Lea over the top of the beaker he was currently adding chemicals to.

Lea groaned, leaning back over the armrest of the chair to look at Ienzo, nevermind that he appeared upside-down at this angle. "Okay, so it was _partially_ my fault, but it was consensual, you prick."

Ienzo clicked his tongue. "Now, now, there's no need for name calling." He reached for a glass stick to stir the solution in the beaker. "Why exactly did you tell Roxas that you and I slept together, anyway?"

"He wanted to know why I knew how gay sex worked." Lea closed his eyes. "This is a _nightmare_. They're trying to take Roxas away from me again-"

"I don't think they are," Ienzo interrupted. Lea opened his eyes again. "His Majesty the King came by yesterday to inquire of me possible reasons for young Sora's slumber. With the reappearance of the Keyblades now, it _is_ possible for Master Riku to dive into Sora's heart yet again, but if the darkness inside is too strong, Riku could be in serious danger." Ienzo paused. "But the fact of the matter is that we cannot _truly_ know what is happening inside Sora's heart until we enter it ourselves. Roxas need not be affected by this stage. For all I know, they may have attempted the dive today. His Majesty was looking for you, by the way. Very naughty, running out of the Castle like that and telling no one where to find you or Roxas. They're worried about you."

Lea rolled his eyes. "They're worried about _Sora_. And what they'll do if I take Roxas away and never come back." He stopped. "Actually, that's a good idea."

"Lea," Ienzo admonished. "Do you honestly believe that those six do not care about you at all? Even Terra has a mutual respect for you."

"That's because I was one of the seven to help wake him up. I still don't know how they actually saved him... I couldn't have saved Isa if I tried."

"Isa was beyond help. The best thing for him was what you did: releasing him from Xehanort's clutches," Ienzo said gently. "But more to the point at hand: running away is a cowardly, selfish thing for you to do."

"Oh, thanks, _Dad_ ," Lea said sarcastically.

"Will you honestly rob Sora of the life that he has lived for nineteen years if you can have a hand in bringing him back? Can you honestly say that that will not have an effect on your conscience?"

"My conscience can go fuck itself."

"More importantly: is _Roxas_ going to be okay with letting his original wither away while he and you have a good time outside of the Keyblade War now?"

Lea didn't have a response to that. Actually, he did, but he didn't want to think about it. Roxas would never be able to live something like that down. That's why he had been so _damn_ accepting when they had had this conversation a couple days ago. (He hadn't seen him since, which was making his skin crawl, but Ienzo and Even had both told him to let him have some space.) So, Roxas wouldn't let Sora wither away even if Lea chose that and, honestly, no, he couldn't say he wanted that fate for Sora, either.

Between Sora and Roxas, he loved one more than the other, but he couldn't just throw one's life away like it meant nothing. He'd sacrificed himself for both of them, after all. How could he say that he didn't care when he _did_?

"Your face tells me that you know the answers to those questions in particular, at least."

Lea made a face. "My face tells you? What kind of line is that?"

"I can read you like a book," Ienzo said simply, turning back to his beaker solution.

"Oh, books. It all comes back to _books_ with you," he muttered, draping his arm over his eyes in a dramatic sort of fashion.

"That reminds me." Ienzo set something down and his footsteps led away. "I found a book that might interest you. It was in an old crate that I purchased at a sale here in the city."

Lea moved his arm slightly to look over at him. "I don't like reading."

"You may enjoy this one." Ienzo handed the book over.

Lea flipped it over to look at the front. _101 Ways to Show You Mean It: A Pocket Guide to Love-Making._

"There's a chapter on break-ups and apologies in there," Ienzo said, heading back to his lab table.

"Prick," Lea repeated, although he flipped the book open and began to page through it.

* * *

 

Lea yawned widely as he pushed open his bedroom door. He was going to have to find a different place to stay, now that the Keyblade War was over. Disney Castle wasn't exactly what he called his ideal place to live.

"Axel."

Lea stopped mid-yawn and his eyes flew open, coming to a stop just inside his bedroom. "... Roxas." He swallowed and smiled faintly. "Hi."

"Hi," Roxas replied dully.

Lea closed the door behind him, hesitantly taking a seat next to Roxas on his bed. "What have you been up to?"

Roxas shrugged, leaning into Axel's warmth. "Nothing. Staying out. I had nowhere to go... but I was exhausted and I can't get warm, so I came back... although you weren't here."

"Sorry," Lea murmured, slowly edging his arms around Roxas, loose enough that he could pull away if he wanted.

"I talked to Riku and the others."

Lea closed his eyes briefly. He should have been here for that. "... Yeah? What did they say?"

"Riku went into Sora's heart this morning. There's a few big blank spots," Roxas mumbled. He shivered and Lea tightened his grip. "But the good thing is that he remembers everything that's important. Riku, Kairi... The Keyblade. We think that the memories that were ripped out this time might not have affected him like it did before, but..."

"But he still won't wake up," Lea finished. "Why..."

"That's the question of the day." Roxas slumped further against Lea's shoulder, closing his eyes.

"Hey. Roxas?" Lea frowned. "Are you okay? You're shaking."

"I said I was tired," Roxas mumbled. "And cold."

"Did you spend the past two days wandering around?" Lea asked, tilting Roxas's head up and pressing his cheek to the blonde's forehead. "You're warm... Roxas, I think you caught a cold. Well, a fever, but..." He pressed his hand against Roxas's forehead this time. He was definitely warmer than he should have been. "Hey, when did you get back?"

"Couple of hours ago," Roxas mumbled.

"Alright, lay down," Lea murmured, helping the blonde curl up beneath the blankets. "I'm going to try and... find a thermometer or... something." He didn't exactly know what to do, he hadn't been a human for so long and Nobodies didn't usually get sick like this. "And some medicine. I'll be back," he murmured, leaning down to kiss Roxas's cheek before darting away to find what he needed.

Two pills, a one-hundred degree fever reading, and a cool cloth later, Lea was perched on the edge of his bed while Roxas slept. How could he so stupid? Wandering around the worlds for two days, after re-awakening so soon. And how could _he_ be so stupid - letting Roxas wander around the worlds for two days after re-awakening so soon?

He was an idiot.

"I didn't think he looked good."

Lea sighed at the all too familiar voice behind him. "You're always around."

"Unlike you," Riku said, crossing his arms. "You took him and ran."

"I was unaware of how to deal with my emotions at the time," Lea said, purposefully twisting his tone into something flat and emotionless.

Riku laughed shortly. "Yeah, I figured it was something like that." He was quiet for a moment. "You didn't let me finish my thought a couple days ago, when you ran off."

"You were talking about shattering Roxas's heart," Lea muttered. "I wasn't going to listen to that."

"I agree that I might have phrased it differently," Riku muttered. "But it was a possibility. Roxas probably told you about the dive, didn't he?"

Lea nodded. "Yeah. There's parts of Sora's memory missing, but not vital parts. So, how can we tell what he's missing, but better yet... why isn't he waking up?"

"We can't figure it out," Riku said softly. "But we were contemplating the idea of data reconstruction."

Lea looked at him. "What's that?"

"We..." Riku rubbed his forehead. "How do I explain this without a long-winded conversation... um, well, a few years ago, there was a... you know what. You don't need to know the story. I don't even think _I_ understand it. King Mickey thinks that maybe we can... digitally create the memories that Sora has lost, or to at least patch the ones that have been disturbed. It's... confusing," he muttered. "I admit that. But there's a chance. As long as the memories that are disturbed, don't involve any of the hearts that once were or still are connected to Sora."

Lea narrowed his eyes slightly. Digitally re-creating memories that had tampered with. A datascape within the heart, possibly the mind. That was... horrifyingly complex, actually. Ienzo and Even might like to get a hand in on it. "But... how can you tell which memories of Sora's he's missing if-"

"- he isn't awake for us to see what he forgot?" Riku finished. "That's the complication we're most worried about. And the fact that these memories would be made from data, that would make them _extremely_ vulnerable. The Darkness might be vanquished for now, but..."

"One day, it will come back," Lea said.

Riku nodded. "Yeah."

Lea looked at Roxas's sleeping form for a long moment. "Huh. But, we think we can do this without involving Roxas?" he asked, looking back at Riku.

Riku smiled faintly. It was in that smile that Lea saw the lines of worry embedded in Riku's face, the dark shadows smeared beneath his eyes and the exhaustion in the way that he held himself. "Lea, we don't want to take Roxas from you. I promise that I won't do that if I can find _any_ safe alternative."

Lea inspected Riku's face for a moment longer before standing. "I know." He hesitated before gripping Riku's shoulder firmly. "You should rest. I don't think... you know, Sora doesn't seem like the type to take someone hurting themselves for his sake lightly. He'd probably be holding you down to get some rest at this point. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of him. Got it memorized?"

Riku looked at him evenly before laughing tiredly. "Yeah... You're probably right." He rubbed his eyes. "What a mess. He gets into the worst messes." He dropped his hands. "Roxas told me... that he was worried about you. He said he'd go back to Sora if he needed to, he doesn't want to, but if Sora needs him, he's agreed to go back."

"... Just like that," Lea muttered. They hadn't even really had a good conversation about it yet.

"He does take after Sora, you know."

"I know," Lea grumbled.

"But he said he's worried about you. Because apparently you pulled some stunt about how you'd kill yourself if he went away again?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

Riku scowled. "Don't even think about it. I know you think you'd have nothing to live for, but what about the rest of us?"

"... What about you?"

Riku sighed. "We're your _friends_ , Lea. We care about you and _no_ , do not just say it's because of Sora. You joined us when you didn't have any reason to. And it might have been for Roxas, but you stayed for the rest of us, too. So, don't tell me we don't care. We do. We would be crushed if you did something stupid, if worse comes to worst."

Lea snorted. "Come on. You're going to make me feel bad about my resolve," he mocked.

"I'm serious."

Lea's smile fell away slowly. "... Yeah. I know," he muttered. "And thanks for... that. I guess. I don't... well, I'm not going to think about it until it happens, if it does. Which," he added, "I'm counting on you that it doesn't," he said seriously.

It was a scary concept. He was putting Roxas's life, ideally, into someone else's hands. He was leaving it up to Riku and King Mickey and the rest of them to come up with a solution that didn't involve Roxas. He had a whole smorgasbord of trust issues, ones that had mostly started up after he'd been turned into a Nobody. He was overly suspicious of anything that walked and talked. So, giving all of the power over to people... over the one thing he held at the center of his heart... it scared him.

Not that that _he'd_ admit that.

"Counting on you, too, Lea," Riku replied.

Lea nodded slowly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't own _Kingdom Hearts_. If I did, I wouldn't be so impatient for KHII.5 so I can have lovely HD for a game that I never got to finish because my PS2 copy broke. It belongs instead to Disney and Square Enix.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. TLC Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxas needs some TLC, in some aspects more than other.

"Come on, Rox. Snap out of it," Lea muttered, one hand pressed against Roxas's cheek and the other holding the cold cloth on his forehead.

Roxas mumbled something in his sleep, as he had been, before shifting uncomfortably and falling back into the sleep he'd been partaking in for the past two and a half hours. He wasn't really waking up. Sure, he was talking and moving about, but he wasn't _awake_ , wasn't fully aware of anything. His blue eyes were glassy, bright with fever and the spots on his cheeks weren't from blushing, but internal temperature.

"Wake up," Lea muttered, pressing the cloth more firmly onto Roxas's forehead.

"Ashel..." Roxas mumbled, his eyes flickering open before slipping closed again. "Ash..."

Lea frowned. "Yeah, I'm here. Can you open your eyes for me, Roxas? Need to make sure you're still with me here."

Apparently, from the little bit of research he'd done earlier, fevers always got worse around this time of day but, still... wasn't this kind of extreme? Lea didn't know. His temperature ran above normal, anyway. What someone else would call a fever would only be a normal temperature for him.

Roxas's eyelids fluttered for a moment before cracking open again. He stared up at him listlessly. Lea hated the vacant look in his eyes.

"Hey. Tell me how you're feeling?"

Roxas blinked once, then twice, before curling up slightly. "... Axel..."

Lea let out a deep breath. "Good. Do you need anything?"

Roxas continued to blink slowly, like he wasn't yet fully back to his own body. He shook his head slowly, only slightly.

"You want something to drink? You need to stay hydrated," he said firmly, like he knew what he was talking about as though he hadn't looked it up a few hours ago.

Roxas shrugged.

Lea stood. "I'll get you some. Stay put." He was back in a few seconds, re-joining Roxas at the bed. "Alright, let's sit up. Come on." He perched himself on the edge of the bed, gently edging his arm behind Roxas's back. "Sit up."

"Ow, ow... ow." Roxas slumped back against Lea's chest, visibly shivering so hard that his hair trembled.

"Steady on. Small sips," Lea instructed, getting the blonde to swallow back half of the glass before he pushed it away. "Alright. Okay?" he asked.

Roxas mumbled and twisted around to bury his face against Lea's chest again.

Lea sighed, but his obligation so Roxas didn't fall right off the bed was to wrap his arm around him. _Any other day_ , he thought wryly. If he didn't have such the fever, it wouldn't have been a problem. He loved having him in his arms, but this could be dangerous. If Roxas's fever didn't go down... well, he'd just have to get him to a doctor. He would have called Ienzo, but... that was kind of the whole reason they were here to begin with.

"Hey." He tapped Roxas's shoulder. "You want to get a bath?"

Roxas mumbled something again.

"Speak up there, Roxas."

"Nooo," Roxas moaned. "Leave me alone."

Lea sighed. "You need to get your body temperature down, Roxas. And you're all sweaty. We'll get you a lukewarm bath and then a change of sheets, alright?"

"'m tired..."

"I know, love. Roxas." Lea wrinkled his nose. "Anyway, budge up and-" Roxas tightened his grip. "Roxas," Lea started. "You should stay in bed while I run a bath. It's going to take a few minutes."

It took little effort to pry the blonde away, although Roxas's displeasure was evident in his moan as Lea shuffled away and the look on his face. "Be right back," he promised.

Five minutes later, the tub was filled with lukewarm water and he traipsed back into the bedroom, not bothering to ask Roxas before he slipped his arms beneath him and carefully pulled him into his arms.

"Mmm... whaddya want?" Roxas mumbled.

"We're having a bath, remember?" Lea said patiently, even though his nerves were stretched and his eyelids were drooping. He'd come home exhausted and he still hadn't been asleep since. Not that he could complain, because Roxas had it worse, and even Sora had it worse than both of them, but... He yawned.

"... Tired?" Roxas mumbled, looking up at him.

"Yeah. We'll get some sleep afterwards." Although he probably wouldn't, until he made sure that Roxas started getting better.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he was wondering if maybe this had something to do with Sora. But no... because Sora was the one with the missing memories, Sora was the one who'd had something ripped from his heart. Sora would be the one to get sick, if anything like that happened, wouldn't he? So, Roxas being sick probably wasn't connected. He had been out for two whole days, too, so... it wasn't connected. Right?

Doubting that Roxas would be up to doing it himself, Lea sat him on the counter and meticulously working on undressing him. Hoodie (that he'd snuck into sometime in the past few hours, claiming he was too cold), t-shirt (it was summer, after all, how did he even get _sick_ in summer, the rain?), pants, socks, and finally, boxers.

"Alright, Roxas. Wake up a little bit. We're going to get in the water." He hauled Roxas into his arms again, gingerly setting him on his feet. "Can you walk? Just a few steps."

Roxas mumbled what Lea hoped was an affirmative. He helped him to stumble the few steps to the bathtub, gripping his arms firmly. "One leg then the other. Yeah, like that."

And wasn't _this_ like the first week Roxas had joined the Organization? He'd had to help him do _everything_. He had to make sure he didn't fall out of his chair in the Round Room, for goodness sake. And thus he had been known as the 'nanny'... although even his nanny self then hadn't bathed Roxas. He'd basically given him clothes and locked him in the bathroom until he was sure he'd gotten done what he needed to. He'd gone as far as sniffing him afterwards, once.

"Ah!"

Lea was jerked out of his thoughts by Roxas's exclamation. "What?"

"It's c-c-cold...!" Roxas stammered.

"Roxas, you haven't even sat down yet."

"S-So c-cold, why is the water s-so co-cold?" Roxas twisted around to grip at Lea's arms, reaching for his shirt.

"It's not cold. It just feels cold to you."

"It's cold!"

"Roxas," Lea sighed. "Let go."

"Nuh uh."

Lea bit his lip against an unexpected flare of humour. "Roxas."

"No!"

"Let go of me," Lea retorted, laughing out loud. "Come on, Roxas. Trust me."

"No," Roxas repeated stubbornly.

"You sound like a child," Lea replied. "Let go."

"No! It's t-too cold!"

Lea chuckled, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. "Okay." He removed his hands from Roxas, although he was ready to grab him immediately if he started to fall.

Roxas scrambled for Lea's arms as he pulled away. "N-No, no, A-Axel! Don't!"

Lea pointed to the water. "Sit down."

"It's too _cold_ ," Roxas whined. "Get in wi-with me."

Lea raised his eyebrows. "Have you noticed how tall I am lately?"

"A-Axelllll."

Lea shook his head in mock annoyance. "You'll be the death of me."

Roxas swayed slightly.

"Woah, okay," Lea said, reaching forward to steady him. "If you'll sit down, fine." He made sure Roxas was steady before reaching back to pull his own shirt off and then making quick works of the bottoms. "You're not going to be comfortable with both of us- Roxas!" He lunged forward to catch the blonde as he swayed and crumbled. The water made the tub slippery; Lea's feet went out from under him and he barely had time to wrap his arms around Roxas before crashing down himself.

Stunned silence followed as Lea got his bearings back. "... Ow..." he muttered. "I think I broke my butt."

Roxas laughed weakly from his arms.

"Alright there?" Lea asked, painstakingly shifting until he could lean back in a semi-comfortable position, keeping Roxas against his chest.

"... Dizzy," Roxas whispered. "Stomach."

"Don't throw up on me," Lea muttered, rubbing circles onto Roxas's back. "Deep breaths."

Roxas pressed his cheek against Lea's chest, closing his eyes.

After Roxas fell silent, Lea eventually reached for the soap and started washing Roxas down as methodically as he could, trying not to jarr him too much.

"... Axel...?"

"Hm?" Lea intoned, focused on lathering up Roxas's hair with the blonde's apple-scented shampoo.

"Why Zexion...?"

Lea's fingers paused in kneading the blonde's scalp. "... Roxas, I said it meant nothing. It really didn't mean a thing. We didn't have hearts."

"But... saying it didn't mean anything is like... implying that our time in the Organization meant nothing... too," Roxas mumbled.

Lea thumbed bubbles away from Roxas's ear. "You know _that_ meant something or neither of us would be here now."

"So... why Zexion?" Roxas repeated. "He's... He's intelligent and... good looking and... he's older and smart and... I-I'm not, I'm not any of those things."

Lea blinked. "Wait... are you... are you _doubting_ yourself?" he asked incredulously.

Roxas ducked his head.

"Why are you doubting yourself?" Lea asked. "I want you. I chose you. I followed you when you left, I did everything I could to get back to you, get you back. I don't care if you don't look or act like Ienzo. I don't want you to. I just want you to act like you."

This had to be fever ramblings, all the things Roxas was saying. Except... even if it was, it meant it was unconsciousness, which meant these were Roxas's thoughts, the ones he never got around to saying out loud. Which meant... it was true. All true.

Well, _fuck_.

"Roxas," Lea said, reaching for Roxas's chin to tilt his head up. "Roxas... I love you. Alright? I've never told anyone that, right? Never told that to Ienzo. Never told that to anyone except _you_. You're the only one. Got it memorized?"

Roxas shifted, although the water sloshing around them didn't hide the sniff. "... Uh huh..."

" _Really_?" Lea asked, tapping Roxas's head lightly.

"... Yeah," he mumbled.

"You don't sound convinced." Lea huffed. "I'll have to convince you. I _will_ convince you. I promise."

"... I believe you," Roxas mumbled.

"But not wholly," Lea muttered, under his breath. He dipped his head to press his lips against Roxas's. "I love you," he repeated. "Never forget."

Roxas pushed him away feebly. "You're going to get sick..." he muttered.

"I don't care," Lea replied, although he did relent and pull away. "Alright. As much as I enjoy this arrangement, the water really is getting cold, so let me rinse out the shampoo and then I'll pop out to change the sheets, if you can handle yourself for a couple minutes."

Roxas nodded slowly, painstakingly pushing himself into a sitting position so that Lea could sit up as well.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These boys. They're always so tragic, even when they're being so adorable.
> 
> I don't own _Kingdom Hearts_. If I did, there'd be Axel and Roxas holding hands on the clock tower, Riku would have ended up with Xion, and Riku's Replica would finally have his happy ending, too. But, yeah, Disney and Square Enix own it. :P


	13. TLC Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of the last chapter, and then developments.

Lea awoke slowly, sleepiness still dragging his limbs through a heavy fog that was slow to disperse. He yawned, turned over, and blonde hair tickled his nose. He opened his eyes slowly, staring at the yellow locks falling into his face.

He'd fallen asleep. "Oh, damn it," he muttered, shaking his own hair out of his face.

"Good morning."

Lea frowned, turning to the voice.

Kairi smiled back at him from her seat at Roxas's side of the bed.

"Ka..." Lea sighed and rubbed at his eyes. "Man, you guys have no concept of personal boundaries. What's it take to get some space around here?" he muttered, pushing his hair back.

"Roxas was awake, so I helped him back to his room."

Lea glanced at Roxas's form. "When was he up? _Why_ was he up?"

Kairi smiled. "His fever broke. He wanted something to eat."

"His fever broke? When? He should have woken me up."

"About an hour and a half ago. I made him go back to bed," Kairi said, smiling softly. "And I'm sure he didn't want to wake you up because you've spent the past few days looking exhausted."

Lea yawned again and rolled out of bed. "Oh, I'm fine. It's just been a big week." He waved his hand dismissively, heading for the bathroom. "Any news on Sora?"

"No. Mickey's trying to come up with digital data to fill in the spots and we're going to see if we can get him woken up to see what he's actually missing. But if he doesn't wake up when we fill those spaces... _Lea_."

Lea realized his mistake almost immediately, given the tone of Kairi's voice. "I don't close the door when it's me and Roxas! No one told you to come in here!" he griped. "Don't be such a prude. I walked in on you at the beach and I didn't want to see that."

Kairi sighed, although she stayed outside of the bathroom door this. "Honestly. _Men_."

Lea huffed, turning to wash his hands and then reach for his toothbrush. "How is it," he asked, "that Naminé is your Nobody, but you two are completely different people? I mean, even Roxas and Sora have their similarities, but Naminé is shy and sweet and you... well, no offense, but you're not like her."

"I don't know," Kairi admitted. "I guess she's... just a different side of me."

"Huh." Lea stuck his toothbrush in his mouth, narrowing his eyes at his reflection. Was it really so obvious that he'd been exhausted the past few days? He hadn't lying; it _had_ been a big week. And that wasn't even counting the Keyblade War beforehand...

"I guess it probably has something to do with both of us caring about Sora... though. Doesn't it?" Kairi asked. "I mean, Naminé was the one who put Sora's memory back together after he had been put to sleep, wasn't she? So, she got that part from me. Actually, it's probably not just Sora... I mean, she hated that she had to take Roxas away."

Lea spit toothpaste into the sink, looking towards the doorway.

"She wanted to disentangle the memories... but she couldn't. She was... sad. That she had to take Roxas away from you."

Lea sighed and rinsed his mouth out, joining Kairi in the doorway. "So, you're both do-gooders with big hearts. No wonder you like Sora so much."

"I could say the same about you," she replied, looking up. "You love Roxas."

Lea rolled his eyes. "Let's not get over-zealous. I just _got_ a heart. I'm sure it's not big."

Kairi smiled softly. "But it's filled with determination, and dedication, and love. Those are the measures of a friend. Best friends forever, right?"

Lea 'hmph'ed and looked towards Roxas, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

Kairi laughed. "You're sweet, Lea."

Lea frowned and looked back at Kairi sharply. The words fell into his mind, clicked, and then fell almost immediately out, like he was trying to remember something that someone else had said but he couldn't get a hold on it. It was probably nothing, but boy, was it weird.

"What?"

Lea shook his head slightly. "Ah, nothing, deja vu, or something. Nevermind."

"Oh." Kairi looked back towards Roxas.

Lea followed her movement, but his gaze stayed on her, a slight frown puckering the lines of his forehead.

Kairi glanced back, did a double take, then crossed her arms. "What?"

Lea shook his head, again. "Nothing."

"What are you staring at me for?" Kairi asked, pursing her lips.

"Nothing. It's just... you remind me of someone. _Not_ Naminé," he added. "I feel like I should remember, but I don't."

Kairi dropped her arms. "Oh. That's weird. Someone from your former human life?"

"Nah... Don't think so." He shrugged. "Oh well. It's not important. I'm probably imagining things." He pushed away from the wall and went back to the bed, feeling Roxas's forehead again. Like Kairi had said, it was considerably cooler. "Well. Thanks for... helping him get around earlier. Although he could have just woken me up."

Kairi rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you're welcome. Don't spoil it." She headed for the door. "Hey, Lea?"

"Yeah?" He glanced back.

"I'm glad you got him back."

Lea smiled faintly. "Yeah. I am, too. I... hope Sora gets back. Alright and everything."

Kairi gave a weak smile in reply. "Yeah. So do I."

* * *

 

Ten days, the fever-flu Roxas had had, and a short fall down a staircase after he had passed out from being dizzy later, Lea sat on the floor in Mickey's office, Roxas on his lap and his arms draped around the blonde's shoulders.

"Are you sure you're feeling better?" Roxas mumbled, playing with his fingers.

"Roxas, I had the same thing you had. I'm _fine_ ," Lea muttered, resting his chin on the top of Roxas's head. "Besides, my temperature went back to normal a couple days ago. I'm just a little sluggish, 's all."

"You scared me," Roxas muttered.

"Yeah, well, you know what they say: an eye for an eye, a flu for a flu."

"No, they don't!" Roxas retorted, swatting at his hand.

He _had_ been struck down with the same illness that Roxas had had. It had made him feel a little bit better to know that it wasn't just a Roxas-specific thing, like he had thought maybe it was something to do with the way he'd been brought back. But, then, it made him feel _horrible_ because, well... He was sick.

Apparently, sticking your tongue in someone-who-had-the-flu's mouth was a good way to get sick fast.

He'd even had this dream where he'd dreamed that Roxas and Ienzo were both taking care of him, and having a conversation about sex with him, laughing in good-natured teasing at him while he'd been unconscious... but that had to have _had_ been a dream, because Roxas would never get along with Ienzo like that.

_"When he says that it meant nothing, trust him a bit," Ienzo commented, slipping the thermometer under Lea's arm. "We were just fooling around, as kids do."_

_"Kids? Roxas commented critically._

_"Okay, not kids," Ienzo agreed. "We'd just been told we were Nobodies, that we had no reason to exist. I think I remember Lea telling me that when you started to find out about Sora, you reacted in a strong way, too."_

_"That's different," Roxas muttered. "I didn't go have sex with a stranger."_

_"Some people do."_

_Roxas sighed heavily. "Axel does, you mean."_

_"We both did," Ienzo said gently, removing the thermometer. "I accepted him as much as he sought out a partner."_

_"Why?"_

_Ienzo glanced at the reading before setting it aside. "Well, I'd just lost my girlfriend and-"_

_"_ Girlfriend _?"_

_Ienzo glanced over at Roxas. "I was kind of surprised, too."_

_Roxas made a face._

_"But, Lea was something totally different to what I'd had and, well, it was attractive. It's difficult not to get lost in someone like him if he's interested. Interested in a good time, interested in love, it didn't matter, then. Some Nobodies are rebellious at first. It just happened to be us two being rebellious together."_

_Roxas huffed, taking the cloth Ienzo was offering before heading back to the bathroom. "I just... you and I... we're so different," he muttered over the running water soaking into the cloth again._

_"That's a good thing, though, isn't it?"_

_"Why's that?" Roxas asked, slowly returning to put the cold cloth back on Lea's forehead._

_"Well, if he cared about me at all, or if I was his type, whatever_ I _am," Ienzo said, "would he be so determined to make you realize he loves you?" He felt for Lea's pulse. "Besides, you know he's the one who had a hand in my death, but he threatens to kill himself if you go away. That means something."_

_Roxas crawled onto the bed next to Lea, face set in a frown. "... You think it's real?" he asked pathetically, looking up at Ienzo._

_Ienzo smiled. "You have a heart, Roxas. And so does he. So, whatever he says and whatever you feel now is probably the truth."_

_Roxas looked back at Lea. "Hmm..."_

Nevermind that Lea had woken up and caught a glimpse of gray-blue hair hovering over him with the thermometer... He must have dreamt that, too.

(Little did he know, Roxas had been the one to call Ienzo over.)

Lea smiled innocently. "Maybe not. But I had to be here for this, anyway. See if Sora wakes up."

He wasn't sure how it happened, but when he had woken out of his fever-induced stupor, Roxas had told him that the test data recreation had been complete and Riku was going to get ready to do another dive into Sora's heart to, tentatively, fix it. For the time being, until they could figure out what he was _really_ missing. They were fake memories they were implanting, but if the holes were filled, hopefully, the brunette would wake up.

"Yeah," Roxas agreed, looking towards the massive computer screen. "I hope he wakes up."

Lea nodded. "Yeah." He looked to Sora's listless body sat on the floor in front of the big desk. "I hope he does, too."

"Alright, Riku," Mickey said, hopping down from his chair. "The data has been programmed into the Keyblade. Take it, but be very careful. Disturbing any of the other memories could destroy Sora as we know him forever."

Riku nodded, stepping forward to take his Keyblade. "I will."

"Bring him back, Riku," Kairi said, running over to hug him tightly. "Please," she whispered, the word clearly meant for Riku's ears alone.

"I will," Riku repeated, squeezing her back before stepping away.

"Good luck," Lea said, raising his voice.

Riku looked over at him for a beat before nodding once. "Yeah. Thank you."

With that, the silver-haired youth turned his Keyblade onto Sora and once again unlocked the most precious thing inside of him. It was easy to tell when Riku left his body and went into Sora, but it would be a lot more difficult to tell when he came back, or if Sora would come back with him.

"And now we wait..." Roxas murmured.

"Now we wait," Lea echoed.


	14. Waking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sora.

"Axel... Axel!"

Lea awoke with a snort that went unheard through the other commotion that was happening in the room. "What? What's happening?"

"Riku and Sora," Roxas murmured. He was gripping at Lea's hands, which were still draped around his shoulders, leaning forward slightly. "They're both waking up."

Lea followed his gaze, although Mickey and Kairi were clustered around both of the men that were, apparently, coming back to consciousness. He sat up slightly and interlaced his fingers with Roxas's, squeezing them firmly.

Roxas squeezed back, although he didn't look back at him.

This was the deciding moment, then. If Sora was... well, alright, it wouldn't make a difference if his memories were data or if they were real. If not... If not... Well, Lea didn't want to think about the 'if not', because it was going to work, it was definitely going to work.

If Sora was waking up, it was an improvement, anyway. So... there.

Riku was the first one awake, although Sora's eyelids were fluttering and his fingers twitching by the time Riku opened his eyes.

"... Is he awake...?" Riku mumbled, struggling to sit up slightly.

"Just about," Mickey replied.

"Sora?" Kairi was saying. "Sora, can you open your eyes for me?"

"Huuhmmn..."

"Sora?"

"Come on, Sora."

"... Whaddya..." Sora trailed off, shifting. "Want..."

There was a collective sigh of relief in the room as Sora opened his eyes and blinked blearily up at the three surrounding him.

Lea didn't move away from his spot at the other side of the room and Roxas wasn't trying to move, either; this was a Sora thing. It didn't mean that they didn't want to be there because it _did_ affect them... but it was a Sora thing, meant for him and his friends, really. Lea and Roxas just needed to make sure... that things were going to be alright.

"Riku... Kairi... Your Majesty...?" Sora mumbled, sitting up slowly, with Riku supporting him tiredly on one side and Kairi on the other. "What's... going on? Kairi... why are you crying?"

Kairi laughed weakly before leaning down to kiss him.

Lea could practically _hear_ Roxas's nose wrinkle (and he didn't blame him, really, if he had to live in someone else's body while they had sex with someone you didn't know or care for, he wouldn't have liked it either), and he chuckled quietly, drumming his fingers against Roxas's chest as though to say _Aren't hearts magnificent things?_

"Nothing. No reason. Everything's fine," Kairi murmured.

Sora frowned, looking between his friends. "What... happened?"

"How do you feel, Sora?" Mickey asked.

"Er, fine, I guess. Why wouldn't I?" Sora asked, leaning back against Mickey's desk. "What's... going on?"

"It's a long story," Riku said tiredly, gripping Sora's shoulder weakly. "We'll explain in a bit. Are you sure you feel alright?"

"Um, well." Sora scratched his head and folded his hands behind his neck and grinned. "Actually, I'm kind of hungry!" he announced.

Riku rolled his eyes with a huff of amusement, while Kairi laughed out loud.

"Come on, then," she said, standing and holding out her hand to Sora. "Let's get something. And we'll tell you what happened."

"Alright!" Sora grabbed Kairi's hand and got to his feet, swaying a bit. "Woah. Have I... been sleeping a really long time or something?"

"You could say that," Riku said, getting to his feet slowly.

"Riku, why do you look so bad?"

Riku waved his concern away. "I'm alright. Just a little tired. Not all of us could sleep all day, like someone I know," he teased.

"Yeah, whatever!" Sora grinned and turned, heading for the door. "Oh." He stopped, looking over at Roxas and Lea.

Lea was just about to come with some sentiment about 'it's good to see you back' or something, when -

"Sorry, do I know you guys?" Sora asked cheerfully.

Roxas stiffened and Lea froze, as did the others in the room, but the redhead was quick to come back to the conversation. It meant nothing that he didn't remember them. They were insignificant in Sora's life.

"Nah. We're just waiting for an audience with Mick- His Majesty," Lea invented. "We were taking out some Heartless a few weeks back and we wanted to make sure that no more had been sighted." He was a professional liar, after all.

Sora cocked his head. "Heartless? There shouldn't be any more left... but did someone come there, because if you don't take them out with a Keyblade, they'll just just pop back up in another place-"

"We're Keyblade wielders ourselves, actually," Lea interrupted smoothly.

"Really?" Sora asked. "That's cool! We'll have to have you to Destiny Islands sometime, that's where we live." He gestured to Kairi and Riku, who had both gone rather emotionless. "What did you say your name was again?"

"The name's Lea. L-E-A. Got it memorized?"

Sora nodded. "Yeah! And you're...?"

Roxas didn't respond - he seemed unsettled just like the rest of them, and where would any of them get if it wasn't for Lea, honestly? - so Lea interjected smoothly "Roxas".

"Roxas..." Sora repeated before smiling again. "Cool name. I'm glad I got to meet you both!"

Lea nodded. "Yeah. Nice to meet you, too... Sora."

Sora looked back around at Riku and Kairi, who snapped their faces into something less stricken and more appropriate to Sora's expectations. "Come on, guys!" He ran out of the room without another pause.

" ... Don't worry about if he remembers us," Lea said, looking at the others. "See what else he doesn't remember, and go from there. We're not important in the grand scheme of things, anyway."

"Lea..." Kairi started, but Lea held up his hands.

"Hey, he doesn't have to remember me. Roxas still has his memory." He nudged Roxas, who jumped like he'd just come back to the real world. "Well, go on! Go after him. You haven't talk to him in over two weeks, right?"

He waved away their concern until he had coaxed them to leave. Only then did he sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "Well, that could have gone better."

"Yeah..."

"Alright there?" Lea asked, looking down at Roxas.

Roxas nodded. "Yeah..."

"No, you're not. What's wrong?"

Roxas shook his head. "No, I'm good. I just... kind of hoped that things would turn out alright for him, too, you know?"

"Yes... but he remembers his friends. And the Keyblade. That's a good sign. Besides," Lea added, "maybe it's best he forgot about us."

Roxas looked up at him, blue eyes alight with curiosity. "Why?"

Lea smiled wryly and poked the tip his nose. "He knew us as Nobodies, after all."

* * *

 

Lea wasn't too far off the mark, actually.

"How does he remember everything else if he doesn't remember the Nobodies?" Roxas asked, eyebrows drawn together. "Because everything stems off of Organization XIII, doesn't it?"

Lea shrugged.

"He remembers the details of what happened, but he doesn't remember _why_ it happened or who caused it," Riku said. "It's... strange. It's like he just forgot about you, or Xemnas, or Naminé. All the Nobodies have just vanished from his mind."

"But that's understandable," Lea said, speaking up for the first time since their council began. He'd been up late last night, couldn't sleep with too much buzzing through his brain. "We were never supposed to _be_ anywhere, so why should he remember us after his memory's fallen apart?"

"The fact is that Sora should remember _all_ of us," Mickey added. "When Riku surveyed his heart, he said that all of his vital memories were in tact, correct?"

Riku nodded. "Yeah. I didn't check every single part, but from what I saw, he remembered the stuff involving the Keyblade War and more. But now it's like all of the Nobodies just got wiped out from his memory."

"We're not essential," Lea said.

It was meant to be an off-hand comment, but all of them looked at him after he'd said it, even Terra and Aqua and Ventus (which, Lea didn't even know why they were here just then; they'd left after Terra had gotten his strength back but they were back now.)

It was interesting, Lea thought, although it wasn't _any_ of his business, how close Ventus seemed to Terra. Their order was always Aqua, Terra, Ventus, with Terra in the middle of both of them, probably because they were still feeling over-protective, but, unlike with Aqua, the back of Ventus's hand would brush against Terra's and neither would notice, or maybe their shoulders would inevitably lean against each other if they were sitting together... They reminded him of himself and Roxas, back in the Organization when they didn't have a clue. Lea knew it wasn't any of his business, but he wanted to meddle with them so badly. Trap them on an abandoned island together, maybe tie them up to a bed. Something like that.

"Axel," Roxas muttered.

"What?" Lea asked, looking at Roxas and then the rest of them. "What? Why are you staring at me?"

"You're essential, Lea," Kairi said. "Without you-"

"Ugh." Lea rolled his eyes. "There wouldn't have been seven Keyblade wielders, but that's not exactly true, is it? I got my Keyblade through sheer will, so anyone else could have, too. I just happened to be a convenient outlet for your cause."

"Axel!"

Lea huffed, resisting the urge to rub his ear after Roxas's outburst. "Meh... Ignore me. I'm tired," he muttered, folding his arms on the table and thunking his forehead against them.

"Sora wouldn't say that. Sora would tell you that all of his friends are precious to him, and _essential_ ," Kairi stressed. "You're one of his friends, Lea."

Lea held his hands up in an _I surrender_ sort of way. He let them fall back onto the table and he stifled a yawn against his sleeve.

"Maybe Lea is right," Terra said slowly.

"Terra!" Aqua protested.

"Not that each of Sora's friends aren't essential," Terra said. "I'm not contesting that. But perhaps Lea is correct in saying that maybe it's not such a bad thing that Sora does not remember the Nobodies that came into his life."

"Why? You wouldn't want to remember your friends?" Aqua asked.

"Of course I would. But... all of the trouble that Sora has been put through has to do with the Nobodies, whom are all eradicated or human again. Is there a reason that Sora must know about the Nobodies? Personally, I think that there is no reason that he shouldn't just learn to accept these people as new friends. From what I understand, only Lea, Roxas, and Naminé were the Nobodies that Sora had close contact with. A personal bond, a friendship."

"More or less, that's correct," Mickey said. "And I believe that this could continue the way it is now, but the problem is: what if the darkness comes back? What if Organization XIII returns and a new Keyblade War is waged?"

"Then, Sora can learn about Organization XIII again. Until then, I don't see why it's important for him to know."

Riku sighed. "My worry is that if I try to implant data for Organization XIII instead of leaving it blank like this, we could end up warping the rest of his memory."

"I think leaving well enough alone at this point would be the best thing we can do," Terra continued. "But, seeing as how Sora's lost memory is what you five would be dealing with most of all, it's ultimately up to you."

"I don't really think it hurts him to not know," Kairi said. "But... the problem is that if he's forgotten this, he might have forgotten other things that we just haven't figured out yet."

"Those things could be re-created at any time, though..."

"True... So, are we leaving it how it is?"

"What do you think, Your Majesty?"

"Hmm... Well-"

Lea unconsciously started tuning them out. It wasn't that he didn't care, he was just tired. He had other things on his mind. This directly impacted him, too, by impacting Roxas, but he just wanted to sleep. They'd more or less decided that Sora was alright... so...

He yawned.


	15. Belonging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In your heart.

Lea moved slightly, trying to shift away from whatever was bothering his cheek. Something was touching, tickling. It was annoying. He was just trying to sleep. Why was that so difficult to do around here?

There it was again.

He painstakingly peeled his eyes open, staring blearily towards what seemed to be... a table. It looked like a table beneath the darkness. He was... oh, his head was resting on his arms, on the table. Okay, that made a little more sense.

Warmth puffed against his ear.

Lea narrowed his eyes and raised his head slowly, turning.

Roxas smiled innocently and leaned forward to peck him on the lips.

"... Roxas," he muttered, sitting up a bit more. "What happened? Where did everyone else go?" he muttered, rubbing his eyes.

"They left. You've been asleep about a half hour," Roxas said, nuzzling his face into Lea's neck. "Good news, though. They're leaving Sora where he is now... and if nothing else comes up... everything's back to normal."

Lea sighed heavily. "I think I vaguely remember them saying something about that. Finally. Something went right for us."

"For _all_ of us," Roxas murmured, pressing his lips against Lea's neck.

"Yeah." Lea yawned again, stretching slightly. "Is it time for bed yet?"

Roxas laughed. "No."

"Yikes. I'm exhausted."

"Are you?"

"Well, that's obvious, isn't _it_?" His voice pitched up as Roxas bit down on his collar bone, the jolt reaching up to twist his voice but down to settle in a jab of lust to to his groin. "Roxas...?"

"Hm?" Roxas nibbled on his skin slightly.

"Whatcha doin' there?" Lea asked, tilting his head to the side to look at the blonde.

"Nothing," Roxas said casually.

"Because it kind of feels like you're tenderizing my neck," Lea commented, just as mock-casually.

"Oh. Really?"

Lea laughed sleepily, letting his head fall to the side and his eyes close. He'd kill to go back to bed and _sleep_ (because, despite his voracious sexual appetite that was always beneath the surface, he _did_ like to sleep), but he'd let Roxas have his fun.

"You're falling asleep," Roxas murmured.

"Stayed up late worrying," Lea mumbled.

"About Sora?"

"Mhm."

"Well," Roxas muttered. "He's okay. So... be happy."

"I am," Lea admitted. "Very much so." He turned his head and kissed him.

"But too tired to react." Roxas shifted forward, stabilizing himself by gripping the back of Lea's chair. "Kind of how I am in the morning."

Lea chuckled. There was something exceedingly enticing about Roxas's neck a few inches away from his lips as the blonde leaned over him. Somehow, he figured that Roxas was doing this to him on purpose. He wanted to say that it wasn't fair... but Roxas was right. He always sprung in the morning when Roxas was drowsy; it was just _adorable_.

Roxas smiled and pressed close, his legs straddling either of Lea's as he sat backwards on his lap. He didn't say anything, just shuffled up and placed his hands on Lea's chest and leaned in to kiss him again.

"Interesting," Lea murmured.

"What...?"

"You grew some balls."

Roxas snorted, trailing his fingers down Lea's chest.

The tweak to one of his nipples through his t-shirt came as somewhat of a surprise and Lea jerked in response.

Roxas laughed. "Don't antagonize me, Axel."

"Ooh. I might just," Lea replied, snaking his arms behind Roxas's back. "I might just like this."

"Might like being dominated?" Roxas asked innocently.

Lea couldn't help but laugh at that. "Oh, Roxas. You're adorable."

Roxas pulled away. "What?"

Lea shook his head. "Oh, nothing," he said, still grinning.

"What!"

"'Dominate' me? You're going to 'dominate' me?" Lea laughed.

"What! I could if I wanted!" Roxas protested.

Lea chuckled and reached forward to slip his hand behind Roxas's head, pulling him in again. "No. But I'm willing to let you try, if you _really_ want to," he said.

Roxas made a noise that sounded _almost_ like a growl, grinding down on Lea's lap.

"What got you so hot?" Lea asked. A jolt of pain - _actual_ pain - shot through him and he exclaimed out loud. "Ow!" He leaned away, running his tongue over his lip. "You bit me!"

Roxas leaned back, his own lips spotted with Lea's blood, and raised his eyebrows as if to say _so what?_

"... Inexplicably, that's really hot," Lea said, grabbing a fistful of Roxas's shirt and pulling him back to his lips.

"Have you guys seen- oh, sorry!"

Roxas jerked away from Lea like he'd been shot. Lea groaned in the back of his throat, squeezing his eyes shut at the familiar voice which had just entered the room.

Sora grinned sheepishly. "Um. Sorry. Yeah, I'll go ask someone else. Sorry!" He turned around and left the room, closing the door behind him this time.

"... Oh, fuck," Roxas whispered, putting his face in his hands. "Couldn't- why- Did that just happen...?!" he muttered. His face was bright red in between where his fingers were hiding it.

Lea clenched his fingers into a fist, relaxing them slowly. "You know, I'm glad everything's alright with him, but... cockblock," he muttered.

Roxas groaned, burying his face against Lea's chest. "I'm never doing that again."

Lea ran his fingers back through his hair, wrapping his arm around Roxas again. "Let's go somewhere else. We... need to get our own place."

Roxas didn't move. "No! I've totally lost my... whatever I had."

"Dominance?"

Roxas winced. "Ugh..."

Lea kissed the top of his head. "'s okay. You'll get it back. Maybe with a few drinks," he added, "but..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Roxas muttered.

Lea tilted his head. "What?"

"Drinks. Drinks of what?"

Lea was about to laugh, and opened his mouth to comment on how naïve Roxas was, and then realized: "Oh... you're not drinking age yet." He narrowed his eyes. "Oh, whatever. You probably won't have a taste for it, anyway. Alcohol," he added at Roxas's vacant look.

"Oh." Roxas sighed, putting his head back against Lea's chest. "Can we go somewhere else?"

"Clock tower," Lea agreed, shifting his grip on Roxas before getting to his feet with him in his arms.

* * *

 

"My point earlier," Roxas murmured, "with the... yeah... in the conference room..."

"Mm?"

"... Don't be so self-deprecating."

Lea peeled his eyes open for the second time. "... What?"

"Don't talk like you're non-essential," Roxas muttered, fingers shyly toying with one of the red spikes of hair near his face. "Because you are."

"I never said that I wasn't essential... just non-essential to Sora's well-being."

"You make yourself sound so... useless. I don't really know what happened with the Keyblade War or whatever, besides what you told me, but... it sounds like you had a part in it. And you did it for me... but for Sora and Riku... and the rest of them, too. You're not as heartless as you make yourself seem."

Lea chuckled. "Rox, are you trying to give me a pep talk? Lift my spirits?"

"If they need lifting, yeah."

He was serious, Lea realized. Really serious. "Roxas..." He sighed. "I'm fine. Really. I'm not... not depressed or anything. I was serious when I said that I wasn't essential to Sora's life but I'm not asking to be taken out of everyone else's. I have you, I've got, well, sort of friends made human from the Organization. I'm happy. I'm..." He cleared his throat. "I'm good. Best I have been in a long time, actually." He smiled faintly.

Being serious was a fault. He usually stuck to breaking ice; he was a fire-wielder, after all. He was bad at being serious. It made him uncomfortable, especially when it involved things like emotions and Roxas, both of which he had lived without for far too long.

Roxas stared at him with a frightening intensity for a long moment. "... Alright," he said quietly. "I believe you."

Lea grinned again, bumping the blonde's shoulder with his own. "You'd better. You're the reason, you know."

This time, Roxas didn't ask for an explanation. Instead, he just smiled and reached for Lea's hand, entwining their fingers together.

Lea smiled as he squeezed Roxas's hand and received the pressure in response. He turned his gaze to the sunset, pondering the probability of getting a sea-salt ice cream later before they headed home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that, my readers, is the end of Roxas's re-entrance into the living realm! Well, at least, my version of it. I sincerely hope that he comes back in KHIII... while I know the slash would never happen, I want him and Axel and even maybe Xion to finally be able to hit the beach together, sharing sea-salt ice cream in front of the ocean.
> 
> Thank you all for the bookmarks, the subs, the kudos, and the comments! They really mean a lot! I appreciate each and every last one. :)
> 
> I do not own _Kingdom Hearts_. It belongs to Disney and Square Enix.


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